Meme Report 12/14
And when I'm back in Chicago? I feel it.
Thank you for taking time from your eagle-eyed watching of Social Media today to read this newsletter. I hope you all are keeping tallies of the people in your life who have gone public (or not) with their relationships today and if you’d like to start I have this handy guide for you. Have fun!
Jason Kelce meeting Ice Spice and Travis Kelce Yelling
Like I said in last week’s Mean Girl Moment, I enjoy watching the Taylor Swift TV show as it plays out in real life. This is the most they’ve ever developed the side characters. It has become an ensemble with a diverse array of characters. The Kelces are the greatest thing to happen to Taylor Swift, Football, and American Celebrity Culture. Jason as the Gentleman Giant who at any point could take his shirt off and finish off a 30-rack of liberal America’s drink of choice, Bud Light helps fill out the world to make it feel well written. He is ready for any situation the narrative is ready to throw at him, even meeting another unexpected member of the entourage, Ice Spice, who plays herself more so than anyone else in this world. As for Travis, the boyfriend is finally pulling his weight content-wise. Yeah yeah, he won the Super Bowl but he was going to do that anyway. Generating content is not about doing your job, it’s about panache and flair. Travis clearly has a lot of it, so I’m glad we put it to good use.
Beyoncé
I’m excited for Beyoncé’s country-inspired Texas forward album but that’s because I’ve come around on Country music in recent years. Everyone else is getting on board because they love Beyonce. They’re expressing their tepid excitement with a lot of memes involving famous figures we know and love unexpectedly wearing cowboy hats (like Beyoncé did last week!) Such is the promise of America that at some point all of us must go country, so when Beyoncé goes country we pull out all the memes, which is easy because all of us have worn a cowboy hat at least once. No other genre of music has a whole genre of memes that any of us could deploy at any time. Beyonce going country brings out a fresh crop of cowboy hats. We did our best for Renaissance but we didn’t have it on deck like we do for yee ha. Maybe because we’ve done it before with other artists or because the cowboy hangs above us as the center of American myth, but we’re ready for this, like never before.
P ░U ░S ░S ░Y░ I ░N░ B░ I ░O░
The house is falling apart. The rats that the new landlord swore to eradicate now live among us and are braver than ever before. We eat breakfast with them, we watch TV with them, and we talk to them about our days. The Rats, which used to be a somewhat annoying but mostly avoidable part of living in the house, are so present we have to talk about them all the time. P U S S Y I N B I O is just us making peace with our new roommates.
You Did Not Fall Out of A Coconut Tree
We’re gritting our teeth and learning to love Kamala Harris. We’re trotting out an old bit and pretending it’s so funny we need to beat it to death. We love Kamala and we’re going to be so happy when she becomes president in the next 2 to 18 months.
When Your Card Declines At Therapy
TikTok makes fools of us all. When a TikTok trend becomes a tweet format, everyone is at their worst. There’s nothing more embarrassing to me than Twitter people unknowingly engaging with TikTok content. I am giving myself brain damage by spending hours on that app and everyone in the world thinks they’re too smart for it. But they’re just like the rest of us. No one is too good for TikTok. No one is above it, we will all succumb to stupidity one way or another.
TikTok
Someone’s being funny again! For me, the only kind of comedy that registers on TikTok anymore is overconfidence overconfidence. Everything else veers too close to self-pitying and can be accidentally taken seriously. It’s a good joke and it’s so stupid we can’t do discourse on it. I realize I’ve been asking for too much content-wise. I don’t want smart girl influencers, I don’t want fun discourse, I don’t want memes with depth. I want jokes. The stupider the better. Once we have an active crop of jokes on TikTok we can revive the app. Perhaps the earth is not salted.
End of Beginning
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Remember last week when I said the UMG ban would cause us all to be more creative? Well, I was wrong. It caused us all to pick one song we like and use it forever. That song is End of Beginning by Djo aka Joe Keery aka Steve from Stranger Things. It’s our favorite song now and if you want to make a video about anything, do I have the song for you. The song is fine but I missed the meeting where we decided we only get one. I know we lost a lot in the ban but there’s got to be more than one song.