Cop Slide
This is a perfect video. From start to finish, it is perfectly executed. The memes are funny mostly because they remind us of the video itself. The real-life response from the people of Boston is my favorite part. The slide is at Boston’s City Hall park and happened to a Boston police officer so it is of public interest to figure out what the hell is going on. In the 2015 film Spotlight, multiple people repeat the sentiment that Boston is a big city that feels like a small town, and the press acts accordingly. This is certainly true about the biggest story of the summer, the cop slide. Somebody asked the Mayor about it within 24 hours of it happening. My favorite New England TikToker, Matt Shearer from WBZ News Radio went to the slide and got stuck. The city of Boston will never let this idiot live this down, as is the New England way.
Planet of the Bass
I was withholding and hesitant to love, and it turned out I was right. I could sense that this video was not all we wanted it to be. Last week, the day the Meme Report came out, the internet turned against DJ Crazy Times when he released a new version starring a new Biljana Electronica. I knew we were appreciating the video for more than it was. Most of the time we tend to side with the artist in disputes like this. The masses, especially once they’ve dubbed themselves “fans” tend to be wrong and stupid when it comes to interpreting art. However, I think the fans gave DJ Crazy Times too much credit and when he revealed what he thought was funny and worked about the song, they turned against him, and it was easier than we all thought.
The problem with the original video is that we were all fooled by the warm welcoming embrace of a smiling blonde girl. We’d all love to unlearn our biases but when it comes to music most of us still feel safest with a smiling peppy blonde girl, especially when evoking the late 90s and early 2000s, regardless of talent level. Not to say that she isn’t talented, because as we learned earlier this week, it’s not just about being a Blonde Girl. The original Biljana gave a true comedic hot girl performance, which we have never been able to truly appreciate as a culture. I understand the bit DJ Crazy Times was trying to do but he either undervalues his female scene partners or these girls just can’t sell it. Pop Music is all about the Benevolent Hot Girl who is hot, fun, confident, and cool. The other two were trying too hard to be cool while the first girl was naturally effervescent because she wasn’t afraid of looking stupid. Anyone can be hot but it takes a real baddie to be popular.
Montgomery Brawl
This is the kind of juicy story that thrives on the internet. It has everything. Racist white people getting what they deserve. Teamwork. Multiple angles. Memes. That one guy who swam to the dock. It’s as much a meme as it is an investigative journey that every person must go on. To get the whole story, one needs to do a deep dive. It’s a great way to spend an afternoon. There’s always more content and as the days pass people find more little nuggets of wisdom to share about the initial fight. It’s what the internet was made for. Finally, fight videos have been elevated to their highest level.
Me To My Alien
Eh. Not that interested. We’ve done this before and the joke of “explaining to (x)” doesn’t really get funnier the more we do it: aliens, Pilgrims, Peasants in Hell, the founding fathers, our children. Our lives are complicated and weird. There’s a lot of lore. So what? This is our attempt to reckon with information overload but I’d wish we’d find another way.
What Do You Call This Genre Of Woman
This meme makes me crazy because I keep engaging with it. I think about it for a second every single time, which is more than it deserves. I try to define and understand the category. I can’t help myself. I love thinking about categories of culture and I have to remind myself that this meme is for perverts and weirdos. It has trickled down to girls using it as an excuse to post selfies and celebrities they look like or share a defining feature with. At the end of the day it becomes an attempt to categorize all the different kinds of white women with brown hair there are. An exercise I’m not interested in.
TikTok
Bama Rush
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I don’t care anymore. We’ve talked this to death. If you have new things to say about Alabama or Sororities or rush this year, I don’t believe you. All there is to say, we have said. It’s not that interesting and the way we left it last year a lot of people still weren’t grasping basic concepts about how the whole thing operates. I can’t go through the shock and awe again. After the “documentary” about Bama Rush we were all forced to endure, I think it’s over. Pack up your rush bags and go home.
That’s An Apartment Not A House
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Finally an actual trend! It feels like it’s been weeks since people did something thematically connected to the song playing with their spin. A real meme! It’s comedic, It’s original. It lets me see inside people's apartments. We’re finally having fun again on the internet. Thank god. Even if the fun we’re having is about how everyone's apartment sucks “That’s not a living room, you not living” is an incredible treatise on the housing crisis.
Wasted Summer
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In early August everything slows to a halt so anything new seems that much more exciting and interesting by default. Maybe it’s the summer haze that’s making me love this song, or maybe it’s the fact that it’s the exact right vibe for this time. Maybe it’s just what the zeitgeist needed next. I love this viral hit. Sue me!
Including my circles tweet.... Cease and desist incoming