Timothee, Wes, Bill Murray, Tilda
I hate this meme. It is the dreaded Blue Check only meme, where the verified make jokes the real weirdos, who are the backbone of Twitter, don’t care about or engage with. First of all it’s at Cannes. We don’t really get a lot of memes from Cannes unless the people going are super memeable, because once again, It’s Cannes. Everyone is usually on their best behavior. Second of all everyone is trying to say they’re all on different vibes but they’re really all on the same vibe. It’s like trying to name the differences between neighborhoods in Cape Cod. Ultimately it’s where rich white people go to vacation. I’m not interested in the minutia of what makes the rich white people slightly different. More aptly they look like a family at NYU graduation, the older sister with the purple gown is just off screen, probably played by Saoirse Ronan. If only someone had made that observation earlier then we wouldn’t have had to live through two days of blue checks and their little observations.
Dua Lipa not getting Covid
Marina Diamandis continues to be in her flop era. Most recently, she got covid from a certain comedians birthday party. We learned from the only trusted news source, Pop Crave that several other pop stars were with her at this party, most notably Dua Lipa. Ms. Lipa has been galavanting around throughout the pandemic and seems immune to covid. Narrowly escaping it where her peers do not. Dua is our current pop meme queen. Now some would say it’s Doja, but Doja is our meme queen in a benevolent way. She loves us and memes with us. It’s a symbiotic relationship. Dua is the opposite of this. She is so of the internet and yet I would believe she’s never been on a computer. She won’t see these meme about her and won’t comment on them as she never does. In the iconic words, go on girl give us nothing. This is yet another chapter she won’t read in her storied double life on the internet. Keep the chapters coming.
Jeff Bezos
Listen, we all want the evil billionaire to die in the rocket. There’s only so many ways to say that though. There is nothing worse than the timeline talking about something you don’t care about but it is especially bad when there is nothing to say. No good takes, no bad takes, just why won’t the rocket blow up. Please talk about something else, I’m bored.
Tiktok
I was running through the six with my woes
I see we’re changing the genre of trauma dump tiktok. I like this one. It doesn’t have to be that serious and there’s a layer of fun to it. These videos often don’t require story times so I like them to that extent. It’s quick and easy and we all get it. So few trends are about self reflection and realizing behavior that you tolerated in the past is no longer acceptable. It’s not great but it is good. It is also from Drake’s meme era. This song specifically was so heavily memed when it came out and it’s nice to see it get a revival.
Freud was right about somethings and we have to give him credit for that. I don’t understand the fantasy people have of who their imaginary children’s partners are. It is so weird and bizarre on so many levels. Here’s a helpful hint: If you are going to make a video about your unborn children’s future sexual partners looking like you: Don’t. Don’t do it. If any of those words appear in your mind and are the central premise for your video, start over. Back to the drawing board.
Tell me something I don’t know but it’s real tea
I have not previously covered this trend because I felt it was so obviously marketing, which I believe even more with the red and blue light beard filter. This take however is so fun. I love to watch people learn gossip. So far I have not been disappointed and the way the friends react means the gossip is good. I want to know what the tea is..... so bad. It’s especially fun when it’s groups of boys. Intellectually I know that straight men gossip but sometimes they’re bad at it or don’t understand why certain things matter. The example I have attached for this trend makes me lose my mind. All of these boys freaking out about gossip are so fun to watch.
When searching for examples I found people doing it in other languages which is always great for a meme. It speaks to the universality of the human experience. We must ask ourselves: Is he hot or does he just have something I value? What’s crazy about this trend is I feel i see so many people doing it wrong or using it to promote their brand. Following the letter of the law but not the spirit. The problem with basic memes that are made by teenage girls just having fun in their backyards is that they are sometimes very easy to copy. This is not these girls' fault and I do not blame them for making an easy fun summer meme. I blame capitalism and the need to use any and all forms of fun to sell product or promote oneself. Simply disgusting.
Two things. First, I know apple music says its “I'm not gon' key your car, I'll call your fucking mom” but shouldn’t it be “or call your fucking mom” Doja herslef said the lyrics are wrong and her label doesn’t listen to her. Why would tattling to his mom be better than keying his car? It seems like they’re on the same level of bratty post break up behavior. Second, the part people really like in this song is when she screams after “go get a fucking job” and that part is at the very end meaning white people don’t have to include the first part where she says the n word a bunch. Save yourself the hassle and just start where she just says “I’m not gon key your car”. All in all this meme is fine but not the best. It seems like everyone is having fun but I’m slowly getting sick of it. Do it fast before the time runs out and it’s just annoying.
I am sorry to the Greta Van Fleet stan who posted their SNL performance. No one would have seen this video and ruthlessly made fun of it without them. I’m also sorry that you are a Greta Van Fleet stan. We once lived in a culture that loved Mumford and Sons and we’re not going to let that happen again. No more fake country boys with their fake folk music. There’s so much going on in the world there’s no way we should also have to endure Greta Van Fleet. We mostly forgot about them during the pandemic but this little crop up, we’re squashing it before it can start. Bullying works.