Nancy Mace
We must always have a Republican boogeyman to prop up as the face of our enemy. In the Trump administration, we tend to go through them very quickly, and it can be hard to keep up. There will always be Trump, of course, as the overarching figurehead head and JD Vance needs only open his mouth to become the target again, but if you want to signal real knowledge and real hatred, you have to go down ballot. The current senator enjoying her 15 minutes of infamy is Nancy Mace, a representative from South Carolina. I will admit it is getting hard for me to learn the differences and quirks of all these senators, especially when they’re all vying for the title of Trump's favorite by doing increasingly despicable things. Nancy Mace keeps making the mistake of trying to be relatable online. She has the uncanny smile of many a female politician with too much cheap plastic surgery, so she opens herself up to ridicule every time she posts like just a regular girl. She also insists on trying to be relatable while maintaining her hateful politics in that modern republican way. Something that only invites more ridicule. Plus, she ordered too many beans with her barbecue, an unforgivable sin.
Bezos Wedding
We learn over and over again that you simply cannot buy taste! If you’re going to have a wedding that costs millions of dollars, it’s best to do it Ivy Getty style. The Ivy Getty wedding proves that if you have a sense of style, many people are less willing to offer leftist critique of your wedding, and those who still are are willing to add the caveat that it does look gorgeous. Ugliness is a worse offense than human rights violations, which we already knew, but in case you were confused, this proves it. We’ve always been willing to give a little wiggle room if you can be an interesting socialite. Unfortunately, Bezos is evil, boring, and ugly, so the critique has been unending.
Tiny Chef
I couldn’t bring myself to watch the video. I don’t care about children’s cartoons in this way. This little short of Tiny Chef reacting to his cancellation was made for adults to react and go “hey this isn’t right!” despite never having heard of the show, thus inspiring further action from the network, with no actual children involved. Most people fell for it. I think a good mantra going forward would be “I’m not going to be manipulated by an online exclusive from a children’s cartoon I’ve never seen before”. It’s not 2015 anymore. We can’t fall for this cutesy bullshit especially when we don’t have the excuse of nostalgia. I’m begging everyone to grow up.
My Dream Date
Hurricane Huda (who is good now? Idk I’m not watching Love Island) had been blessed with an image format to go with her meme. We haven’t seen a new one of these in a long time. To me, this is evidence of the fact that people on Twitter who think they are too cool for TikTok still desperately want to be included. They’re willing to reinvent the wheel. People weeks behind the trend want to give their 2 cents, and nothing they are saying is interesting.
Recommendations
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Veronica - I finished this book and I loved it! New York in the 80s! Models! AIDS! Temping!
Virgin - We’ll talk about it during Mean Girl Moment
Vertigo - Also begins with V.
TikTok
Summer jobs
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TikTok is the app of young people. They share things more naturally there than older age cohorts, and so certain life events have a ceremonial TikTok element. Prom, First day of school, Middle school gossip pages. Because of the random channel surfing nature of the app, the rest of us are exposed to it. My favorite of this genre is the summer job TikTok. Teenagers enter the working world for the first time and don’t realize that they are in a special little bubble. They have been given jobs we give only to teenagers or twenty-somethings. They are at the Ice Cream Stand, or the snack bar, or lifeguarding, and that world is theirs. For a few moments, we are allowed to peer in and see what is happening behind the scenes. It confirms what we already knew to be true: they’re having one of the best summers of their lives. They have no idea.
Tyrant Edits
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I know we all had fun with Party 4 u. We all understood the assignment as it were. Now it’s time for round 2, and unfortunately, there’s a bit of a lapse in comprehension. In the angsty edits, most times the singer is talking to their lover directly if they are addressing a “you”. However, in this song, Beyoncé is addressing the Hangman. If we look at the lyrics, this is obvious. At one point, she even says, “Hangman, answer me now.” It does not make sense for the edit to be about people who simply aren’t together anymore. For the edit to be effective, it should be clear who or what the Hangman is. If there is no hangman, there is no edit. Sure, the hangman could be something like “society,” but that’s a little complex to display visually. Some of the editors are capable of this, others need to finish their freshman year English homework.
Destiny Guard Our Girls
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This is the first time I’ve been impressed by TikTok’s attempt at feminism. Sure, it’s a song from a Disney movie, but it is interesting to see it recontextualized. The focus of the TikToks is the idea of asking “destiny” to guard young women against the forces that aim to harm them. In this new meaning, “each a perfect porcelain doll” becomes about their innocence and potential as people, rather than their beauty and potential as a wife. It’s a fun song in its original context, but it’s putting the onus on the women to bring honor with their selected match, whereas on TikTok, they highlight the bridge and that it might be the duty of destiny or some larger force to protect these young women, since no one else seems to be doing it. Every single version of this edit makes me cry.
Waking Up
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Incredible every time.