Labubu
I’m not really a stupid trinkets girl in this way. I love my stupid trinkets, but they have to be curated and discovered by me. No one can hand me a trinket and say “love this” the way everyone else seems to be able to. There seems to be no discernible difference between a sunny angel girl, a simski girl, and a labubu girl. If you will buy one stupid little doll, you’ll buy them all. It seems to be an endless parade of on to the next, collecting as many as one can before the next doll arrives. Also, I’ll admit it, I thought Labubu was a new way to say labia. I’m trying to reduce my screen time!
Pride
Pride is more important this year than it has been in recent years. Stakes are high. Too high for the late BuzzFeed tone everyone has decided to take. Pride during the previous Trump years took on a silly irreverent tone that was very internet-influenced. Pride was a protest, but it was a protest that started at a bar, so this whole thing should be fun right? Most people who spend all their time on the internet don’t go to bars, so the next best thing is memes. It was fun at the time. The Biden years were more laissez-faire. A tired victory lap. This year, everyone suddenly had to lock in. We lost DEI, and with it went corporate pride logos. In order to make up for it, everyone is dusting off their vintage memes, some from the Obama years. This feels a little too cutesy in the wake of everything that’s happened and also everything that has changed about the voice of the internet. It feels wrong that everyone has decided the new voice of pride is what it was before, because even the less socially aware #resistancelibs have changed their approach. So why hasn’t the LGBTQ community? Why is it back to the old ways without a hint of something new on the horizon?
Recommendations
Hi, ok, so, everyone has to promise to be cool about this, but I now have Amazon affiliate links. It’s going to be quick and painless, and I will couch it in recommendations so there’s still content worth reading. You don’t have to buy anything. This is how I’m choosing to participate in the Internet economy. If you’re buying something from Amazon already, how about your favorite newsletter gets some points on the back end? If you hate this and view me as a sell-out, that’s ok, too. If I don’t earn enough, I will be kicked out of the program after a probation period. So you’ll get what you want, I’ll be embarrassed, and you get to keep enjoying your favorite newsletter for free. I find the whole situation morally dubious, but a girl’s gotta eat.
Fundamentally: the funniest book I’ve ever read about deradicalizing ISIS brides. I listened to the audiobook and kept extending whatever I was doing so I could keep listening. The woman who wrote it used to work for the UN and I’m surprised and also jealous that she did that and also wrote this incredibly funny novel.
That Thing You Do: The five-star 3-star movie. No movie goes down as easy as That Thing You Do. The song is perfect. The boys are perfect. Liv Tyler is perfect. It’s a little light on conflict, but that’s the point of the 3-star movie. It is also a part of my favorite micro-genre: The Fake Band movie. We should have one Behind the Music type movie about a FAKE rock star or pop star once a year. Tom Hanks understands this, and that’s why he’s one of the keepers of the A-list.
Sue Me: It’s the indie girl song of the summer.
TikTok
Plug Walk
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These boys don’t understand what made them viral. Half the audience doesn’t even understand what made them viral. We’ve seen this before, white people singing rap songs. It’s a classic genre of the cheap virality game. This video is special. These boys are giving a performance and have captured something almost otherworldly that is not present in their other videos. The blonde one in the foreground has a Jesse Pinkman-like menace about him. He reminds me of a standout second-season villain in an otherwise middling cable drama; His dopey sidekick standing behind him. Their backdrop is a CVS sign glowing in an otherwise desolate background. I knew before I knew that this was in a desert civilization somewhere in the American southwest. We’re meeting these boys in a place we should not be. They’ve completely changed the original song to fit their gimmick, which is why it's the best of their parodies. This video is miles above their other content, almost completely by accident. They could harness this and make something more interesting than what they’re working with now, but now they’re trying and maybe the magic is gone.
Boat and Tote
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It’s summer, so that means everyone in the Northeast is becoming their summer selves. This is an aesthetic and lifestyle that asks how much structured clothing can one wear to ostensibly relax? An essential part of this lifestyle is the L.L. Bean Boat and Tote. Like everything in New England, it is more functional than it is beautiful, but we’ve learned to appreciate its beauty because of its functionality. There’s discourse popping up about the “ironic” boat and tote, or a boat and tote with a fun phrase on it, a trend that's 3 years old at this point. In addition to the seasonal discourse, someone somewhere out there gave a review of their boat and tote without properly wearing it in. The ironic boat and tote is fun. Why not bring your mom’s bag into the new century with a cute personalization? Or if you’re newly settled in the northeast, why not put a fun spin on the culture you’ve joined? As for the negative review, it doesn’t take a genius to understand why something sturdy, long-lasting, and ugly might not appeal to the overconsumption crowd. They have yet to learn or have no interest in the New England ways.
Girl On The Plane
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You get what you pay for on a flight to Orlando. Sorry. If the flight were going anywhere else, I’d be sympathetic to the plight of the passengers, but you can’t fly to the singing children capital of the world and then complain when there’s a singing child. That’s the real Orlando experience.
Flights to Orlando are already an exercise in misery. This one feels like a 10th Circle of Hell just dropped.
Good meme week. Happy pride!