Meme Report 6/30
Last Day of Pride, Say Your Goodbyes Now
Venmo
I saw the greatest minds of my generation try to win an Instagram giveaway. Granted it’s Venmo and they give away money all the time in a semi legitimate way but it’s embarrassing to see people I considered smart post that graphic. I need us all to be better than this. I hope at least one of you gets your money but if not, learn from this.
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Bisexual Nobody Believes In You Couch by IKEA
This couch is so beyond ugly and nonfunctional it’s incredible. A huge swing and a miss. Bisexuals really taking yet another L on the this one. If you are in on the joke which we all should be because there’s simply no defending the couch based on a slam poem written by a 15 year old, it’s a great day on the internet. Another corporate pride misstep because no one wants to hurt anyone’s feelings by telling them their feelings aren’t aesthetically pleasing. It’s almost as good as the God tier, Let’s Get Beers Tonight Queens, almost.
It’s Glen, Glen maxwell
(I can’t link to the video because it got taken down for copyright infringement but it was a clip from the upcoming film, The Scary of 61st)
Dasha from Red Scare made a movie and all of the most annoying terminally online people are going to obsess over it little by little for the next year. I do not have time to get into the whole Red Scare thing so I’ll be brief. The Red Scare girls draw a lot of ire from all people on the internet however, the response to both their fans and their haters is “ok but why do you care” and with an even handed analysis like that how can one argue? A podcast is far from art and the necessary presentation has to be underplayed and ambivalent. Yet Dasha’s dream career is the most embarrassing thing one can do, publicly make art and then ask people to like it. Now that she is presenting her passion project and showing us she cares about something, finally the criticism can roll in. We can have the final say. We will find the one scene that is off putting and weird and we will play it over and over again. The way she says Ghislaine, a name whose correct pronunciation still eludes me, the fact that the stand in is her partner in podcasting and vocal fry. It’s silly, it’s iconic, it’s too much and not enough. Of course this is an unfair way to judge anything but the rules of the internet are unfair and the girl from the meme will live on in meme status forever. Round and round we go. No one who was going to watch is turned off and her professional haters will see it no matter what, or torrent it.
Submissive and Breedable
Well it’s the last week of pride and we’re all insisting on being disgusting. I can’t make heads or tails of this one and I don’t want to. I don’t know where it comes from and please please don’t explain it to me. My only thoughts are “hmmm…. Gross” I am a sex negative puritan and I will continue to be that until you stop being gross.
Tiktok
Nobody is Bigger Than The Group
Adults do so much hand wringing about pop songs and sounds getting popular on Tiktok and I just want to say it’s all bullshit. Your little algorithms would never tell you to put a scene from the biopic about the temptations on Tiktok and have it be a hit. It’s incredible. The minds of children are so malleable and we could give them any sound and they would make a meme out of it.
This is another great meme where people really nail the facial expressions required every time. Something about the sound makes people give it their all and I’ve yet to see a poor lip sync performance to it. The meme itself is fun as well. People knowing enough about their situations to know that they are hopeless but still giving the performance of a lifetime. Giving into the nativité of the situation and asking what time am I going on the show?! Whatever the show might be. When will it finally be my time? In the meme the people think it’s any day now, and in real life they know it’s far off or will never happen. One of the only memes where I believe people joking about their situations makes them feel better. You can also tell when people are actually mad and not having as much fun with it as they’re pretending they are. In this instance I’ll allow it because it adds to performances rather than making people uncomfortable with one’s unprocessed trauma.
If all goes according to plan, this is a Tiktok success story. First we have an underground artist promoting his music by responding to a comment. He’s not making some silly video about how we have to listen to his song to support him or some sob story. He writes a catchy hook. People hear the hook and start using it for their own purposes. The meme itself is fine but the song is incredible. We blow up the sound and by extension him and everyone wins. The system works like it’s supposed to. He’s the opposite of the Tramp Stamps, and even if he turns out to be some sort of industry plant, it doesn’t matter. He fooled us and that's all we want.
Accents are the great cultural question for the young people of our time. We spend our youths trying our best to lose them so when we move on to our big city lives we dreamed of as teenagers, no one suspects our podunk upbringing. Then the second you leave you wish you had held onto that part of you a little more and a little better. It is a constant battle to retain connection to your home and be able to be understood in conversation wherever you are. This meme is our reckoning with that. All that work we did to lose our accents comes through whether we like it or not. Try as you might to be someone else, your flat A’s and loose T’s will give you away every time.
Shawty Trifling, She Must Be From Dirty Docks
Another meme where the sound is better than the content produced around it. The original can’t be beat but because the timing is so good, we’ll suffer the indignity of a bad joke to hear “that’s what I’m saying!!” just one more time. I’d rather hear the sound over and over than watch the original video of the girl putting sherbet in a toilet. In case anyone was wondering, Dirty Docks is a Named Location in Battle Royale added to the map in Chapter 2 Season 1, located inside the coordinate H4, south of Steamy Stacks, north of Retail Row and southeast of Colossal Crops. It is a large cargo dock area with many buildings that look similar to Dusty Depot, Container Yard, and Flush Factory. Dirty Docks is the most eastern named location on the map.
Everyone wants to be a little gross sometimes. This sound will stick with us for a long time and feels like something that group chats are repeating to each other ad nauseum both right now and all summer long. This is a level of being gross I can tolerate but everyone’s on thin ice. If people start explaining why exactly it smells like badussy, I’m out. I have my guesses but I think some things are better left to the imagination.
Lots of “gross” discourse this week. Truly end of pride month vibes…