Meme Report 6/24
Good Afternoon From Zohran Mamdani's New York
Zohran Victory
It feels good to be alive in New York City! I don’t know about you, but my feed is overwhelmed with tweets about the 33-year-old democratic socialist. It is the end of the Red Scare Era and the beginning of Woke 2.0, or Dark Woke as some like to call it. This is the first victory in the second Trump Era, and we can only hope there’s nowhere to go but up. Especially because in the wake of ranked choice voting, we already have our #2 to slot in anywhere we like. This isn’t just one election; this is a movement. Today, it’s Zohran; Tomorrow, it’s Brad Lander; The Day After Tomorrow, it’s Los Angeles and the world! For now, we celebrate the best way our coalition knows how: making jokes on Twitter.
New York Times Best Movies List
For a certain type of person (myself), all they want in their free time is a somewhat interactive way to discuss culture with their friends and their fellow Twitter users. For a long time, Buzzfeed was the main distributor of these activities, but as times have changed, so has the purveyor. Things have gotten a little more high-brow, or the Times has finally sunk down to our level, it’s impossible to know which. This is the exact thing I eat the fuck up. I love rankings, I love lists, and most of all, I love movies. I know we’re supposed to pretend that this isn’t fun or we’re somewhat over it, but that’s dishonest. For all the evil the New York Times is capable of and all the power they wield over the American intelligentsia et al., it gets us nowhere to pretend that the crossword isn’t fun and we aren’t intrigued by their list of movies. They even made an editable Matrix for us! Obviously, this was a ploy to clog the timeline with trivial uses of the words “ballot” “vote” and “rank” to distract us from voting for Zohran, but the polls were closed for early voting Monday. It was a flash in the pan afternoon activity, and now we’re too busy celebrating.
Carrie image
Carrie Bradshaw as muse for the self-mythologizing woman and gay guy of the internet is nothing new, but this image seems to have taken a deep hold in the public imagination as of late. It is Carrie at her lowest, at her neediest, at her most desperate for Mr. Big. We can’t help but look, and even worse, we can’t help but see ourselves in her. The world requires us to over and over again “put ourselves out there,” and it never doesn’t feel like Carrie, splayed at Big’s door, begging for approval. Where once she was aspirational, she is now a vessel for defeat. We’ve transformed Carrie Bradshaw into a patron saint of seeking validation and finding humiliation instead.
Miss Piggy gif
A new bombshell has entered the villa. Someone from the GIF archives has unearthed and unleashed a new iconic GIF to the masses. Ain’t nothing better than Ms. Piggy riding a roller coaster. While other mascots of online weirdos have been overplayed and sanitized, Miss Piggy remains true to her original inception. Perhaps because she is a brassy broad loved by brassy broads the world over. Everyone else can be corrupted into a smol bean, but Miss Piggy is an uncorruptible symbol the world over. The GIF of her riding a roller coaster makes me laugh and laugh. I am Miss Piggy, and I am riding the roller coaster of life. Thank god I finally have a GIF to express it.
Recommendations
No Hands (feat. Roscoe Dash and Wale): Easter Egg for Later
The Muppets take Manhattan: Thematically Appropriate
The Royal Tenenbaums: My Favorite Movie
TikTok
My Dream Date
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Love Island has once again come to occupy the hearts and minds of the American public. What I have absorbed through osmosis and will relay to you all, is that the main character of this season, the woman who has captured our.... Affections is the wrong word; is Huda a clearly mentally unwell woman from North Carolina. She has the perfect blend of whatever has to be wrong with you to go on a reality television dating show. In this clip, she is complaining about the fact that the man she has paired up with has been paired up with a new woman by the American public and is going on a date with her (the new woman). She has accepted the reality of the game a little too well, and the way she says “my dream date” as if this justifiably amplifies her victimhood sends shivers down my spine. You all have taken to her unquestioningly, and I’m excited to receive more of this storyline through osmosis.
Who Said That
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I have found myself once again on the advice side of TikTok. A place where women of all qualifications seek to make our lives better. They’ve come up with a new fun way to do it. Right now, it seems to be pretty above board, and I have gathered good pieces of advice I either already knew or plan to implement in my own life. I can’t wait for it to spread and for the true pseudoscientists among us to get to it. I can’t wait to receive a video with 300k likes about my divine feminine or an upcoming eclipse. This trend provides the ethos so many creators lack. Finally, a way to not sound like an idiot when peddling snake oil.
Wedding Line Up
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After enough people who watch too much Bridgerton self-seriously posted their “good” ideas for modern Bridal entrance songs, we’re finally ready to have fun with it. These videos are funny even at their very inception. From the first moment one pictures a Bridal party entering to No Hands (feat. Roscoe Dash & Wale), they’re already laughing. Everything else is just extra.
Ain’t nothing better than Ms. Piggy riding a roller coaster