Affirmations vs. alt.vista
Recently an account posting wacky little sayings superimposed over silly little pictures has been gaining popularity. No one knows anything about the creator of these images but another meme account, alt.vista has been accusing them of being a fed. Now I love to accuse people of being feds. It’s one of my favorite things. I often accuse myself of being a fed, just to make sure I’m not. I side with alt.vista in that anything that is popular on the Internet so quickly is probably some form of psyop or ad. But much like most Onlyfans conspiracy theories I am waiting for more evidence to finally decide what I think. I need a case presented better before I buy into someone being fully evil. I need to know why exactly they are rather than “a vibe” I’m still following Affirmations but I don’t believe they are long for this world. Of course I will update you all when the other shoe finally drops.
We’re back baby. All the employeds are back to work. All the party people are in the streets. As for the posters? They’re posting at the height of their game. It’s what sports broadcasters would call “a great series” we’re playing all 7 games. It’s going to be long and it’s going to be tough with some beautiful moments. The agony and the ecstasy.... this week we’ve got it all.
Every version I have seen of this has made me laugh. I think like most housewives memes, this one will endure for a while. A slow burn in the background. It’s good, it’s fun, it’s once again a meme from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that is at its core very dark. But if we ignore the context it’s a funny little video. I feel less bad about this one than the woman yelling at cat meme because Kim and Kyle are still on the show in some capacity and still exploiting their relationship for viewers. This is from season one. So much has happened since then.
Wasabi
This dog is testament to man’s arrogance.
Miranda Cosgrove Smiling at Her Computer
Good. A sign that the internet is ageing. Only the iCarly reboot is allowed to reference memes since the show itself is a meme. Other shows that do this will not be treated with such reverence.
Men’s Shorts
I have no horse in this race. I don’t care what men wear. Ladies be lucky your man is wearing any non-athletic shorts. Start there. The rest is in God’s hands.
The Best Thing Young People Can Do To Help Their Careers…
I’ll be interested to see if it gets added to Twitter phrase pantheon. We’ll see the next time another idiot decides to gift us with their stupid meme-able phrase. This one was met with obvious push back. Take it from a currently unemployed young person, I do not want to hear career advice from old people who have never tried to get a job using the internet. I do not want to hear that in order to make any money at all ever, I have to give up my whole twenties, when, at the very least, my body is best at combating hangovers.
Deleting Dating Apps
Yet another meme where people just recite the plot of movies or fairy tales. Or, even worse, they tell their real non-dating app love stories. Everyone thinks their own personal love story is so interesting and I can’t emphasize how far from true that is. It should be enough for you to love and be loved in return. You do not need to prove to the rest of us how cute you are. You will fail and we do not care.
Couple in the Car
You horned up freaks can’t stop for one minute can you? We had perfectly good meme about music taste and being mean but there had to be ~uwu what if they kissed~ element to it. Making something that was originally mean, nice is not what the Internet is for. It’s positivity instead of humor, the kind of thing I have been known to rally against. Have your cutesy fun but I’m neither interested nor entertained.
For the Better, Right?
Fucking Star Wars nerds can’t be trusted with anything. The ones I follow because I like their other posts have showed their true annoying colors with this one. People really think this meme has anything to do with the movie, or the prequels, or Star Wars in general. The meme has traction because everyone knows what Star Wars is, and even if they don’t it doesn’t matter. The longer a meme goes the less connection it has to the source material. The one about a .png being transparent is funny and does not say anything grander about the quality of the Star Wars prequels. Get a grip.
The other group who I have talked about repeatedly have decided to trot out their “actually this meme is Dadaist and it’s ruined my sense of humor” bits again. Nothing I have seen has been that Dadaist or requires any knowledge beyond having seen the meme once before. It’s one of the most straightforward memes we’ve had in a while which leads to its popularity. One does not need to be some kind of expert to get or participate in this. Any and all playing with formats have made sense and contributed to the general meme. The meme was fine but the insistence in needing to intellectualize everything instead of laughing at the funny picture has ruined yet another funny picture. All of you are in time out.
Ben Affleck/J Lo kissing
I am waiting this one out. Clearly they are both rebounding before moving on. Ben will come to his senses and return to the mother of his children, which will allow her to take time away and make a gritty inventive drama with an up and coming female director. For this work she will be nominated for and win her first oscar.
Tiktok
For some reason a topic of conversation that is really popular on Tiktok is The South. There are several people who, for the first time, are able to talk about their lives and are given a platform. I have learned a lot about Appalachia thanks to several Tiktokers. This meme is the step beyond learning. Instead of viewing outsiders as people to be learned about and revered the original artist is making cartoons about their everyday life and the characters within it. It makes people laugh but we’re not laughing at these red necks for how stupid they are, it’s more of a King of Hill way. Here are these people and these are their lives and this is how they live them. It’s their urban legends and self imposed systems and sometimes just things they say. What makes this a meme is that people are reading as many of them as they can in their allotted time in the best voices they can. They're doing their best to match their voices to the characters depicted. It is the midpoint between celebration and condemnation. It is presenting people, as they are, being funny whether they know it or not. To me, it feels like people imitating their grandmothers or their uncles, rather than people pointing and laughing at people they’ve never met.
Well well look who’s inside again
For this meme I have written a much longer response to the Bo Burnham special in general. It should have arrived in your inboxes one minute prior to the Meme Report. For this meme itself, I don’t like that they could incorporate the “you’re really joking at a time like this?” in their video and don’t. Paying attention a beat drop rather than lyrical content.
I’m covering tiktoks that get cross posted to Twitter to elicit outrage under the Tiktok section because I want to give them home court advantage.
Clearly some of you didn’t watch the Grindr videos with these old gays in them! My friend and biggest fan of this newsletter, Wilhelm, was in one but I watched them long before that. They’ve been exploiting their age and sexuality for money and views long before Shake Shack and long before this video got posted on Twitter. This is not the first time and this is not the last! It is a fool's errand to ask people on the internet to do a bit of research but look at their account! This is all they do. I’m sorry it upsets people who just learned about rainbow capitalism but I’d rather they get their checks than watch humorless gays think they’re making some larger point about capitalism. Rainbow capitalism used to be something we all knowingly rolled our eyes at. Now it seems that the only way to beat is by… being annoying on Twitter? Wait that can’t be right. Instead of complaining about the shake shack pride shake or trying to muster up outrage about Let Get Beers Tonight Queens (which is so genuinely funny) why don’t you donate money to people who need it? How about instead of starting a one man crusade against the Red Bull pride flag cups that you will be drinking out of this weeked, you open your purse.
OFFICIAL FRIEND OF THE NEWSLETTER!!! Thank you! Another home run.
this was so good thank you