Meme Report 6/11
Gitchie Gitchie Carrie Coon
Gitche Gitche Carrie Coon
Every year, the American Theater Wing’s Tony Awards are broadcast across the country in some form or another, and we must reckon with the American relationship to theater. Americans like theater. They just do. The average American both thinks they are too cool for theater and then will admit to liking something theater adjacent, it’s just the whole apparatus they can’t get behind. There is more of what you like about Cell Block Tango on the other side of whatever you’re pretending to be discerning about when it comes to musical theater. There are thousands of potential Broadway fans out there; they just have to discover their second musical. That’s the goal of the Tonys.
Broadway refuses to modernize. They don’t understand that the future of the art form is pro shots that familiarize a wider audience with the work and teach them how to watch and enjoy musicals. Instead, they chase celebrity in bizarre and misunderstood ways. The misunderstanding is in and of itself part of the fun. The friction that exists in trying to bridge the gap between existing theater fans and the theater fans that could be, so the industry can stay afloat, is, to me, part of the charm. Half of the time it misfires, and the other half of the time we get things like “Gitchie Gitchie Carrie Coon” though I prefer the initial shocking lyric of “Gitchie Gitche Leslie Manville.” We want to show you that you like this. You like spectacle and story! You like famous, talented singers like... Pink! and famous actresses like... Carrie Coon!
Hunter Biden
Every time Hunter Biden does anything, women the world over come out of the woodwork to say that they think he’s hot. I think it’s proof that it’s probably good that our country is less naive than it used to be. We can all admit to being charmed by the recovering addict son of our former president. That’s what Crush by Ethel Cain is about! Are the posts written with AI? Yeah. Does it matter to anyone? No, because this isn’t about that. Hunter Biden is hot, and most people have a soft spot for him. Whatever other story people are trying to tell will be obscured by this fact.
My Mayor Muslim, My Bagel Jewish, My Christian Dior, Knicks in 4
Had this come out three days ago, I would have said it was light-hearted fun that enraptured the city, which it was, but now that it’s knicks in 5, or maybe even 6, 7? Everyone has soured on it. That’s the problem with getting swept up in something. There’s got to be a morning after. Today? The rhyme scheme is flawed, the bagels aren’t even Jewish anymore, and it was a Kalshi psyop. All of it’s true. When you’re winning, you don’t care, and when you’re losing, who else can you take down with you?
TikTok
Taylor Swift
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In her endless quest for an Oscar, Taylor Swift has finally taken the easy way out and released what was probably a vault track from Fearless that she scrapped 15 years ago. That’s the only way to get anything, stop trying so hard. That’s why the song is so good. She’s polishing a chorus, throwing Jack Antonoff a harmonica, and slapping it at the end of a Toy Story Sequel. Diane Warren, get ready to lose AGAIN. The song itself sounds like old Taylor, like old old Taylor. It’s a cute fantasy of a relationship a child could imagine. It plays well in edits, and there’s a bit of a country flair to it. You always find your way back to yourself. She’s taking that Oscar and stomping on Randy Newman’s grave (I just found out Randy Newman is still alive). She’s got her fastball back.
There’s a Man
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Talk about quotes that went triple platinum on Tumblr. I remember what it felt like the first few times I reblogged this quote from one of the cool girls I followed. Someone put into words the feeling of performing for an audience you knew so well yet couldn’t name. It felt good to be understood, yet infuriating that this was the truth of the situation. Eventually, you stop being 17 or 22 and learn to live with this and hope things are better in the future. It’s helpful in trying to diagnose a situation or a person, but there’s not much more we can do with this after a certain age. You can’t fix it. You can try to kill the man inside your head that’s always looking at you, but you won’t. You’ve grown too fond of him, and you don’t like other women who have. It’s popular because it’s simple and true. Now that you’ve got a handle on the simple stuff, where can we go from here?