Meme Report 5/18
This Week We Go Over Basic Manners and Safety Protocols
Anna Wintour’s Lunch
It’s a known fact of this world that rich people have no taste. Even someone like Anna Wintour who is paid to have the best taste in the everything, has a stock level of bad taste. Of course her specialty is fashion, which is why I don’t care what she eats, except in a morbid way. Never trust a skinny cook, as the expression goes. Of course it is disgusting and expensive and indulgent. The woman runs Vogue!! No one was particularly funny with this one. They were all too mad and tried to loudly exclaim that they would do it differently. But that’s the problem, as people get wealthier their sense of taste erodes. That’s why the only people who really enjoy life for all it’s worth are people with a lot of credit card debt. They’re the only people who enjoy things for the love of them, mostly because they can’t disclose the price lest they raise questions about their finances.
Old Woman Dancing
Usually with a meme like this, the person never really looks like the people they’re supposed to. They share a few key characteristics, like age, race, hair color, and body type but never seem to be a great stand in. It’s usually a one note joke if they look like one other famous person. The Diane Warren/Ghislaine Maxwell memes are the best version and usually nothing else comes close. This woman, though, has versatility. Her face is a blank canvas for middle aged white women with the same haircut. There’s not that many but she really does look enough like all of them that each one changes your perception of her. One moment Judith Butler, One moment Jamie Lee Curtis, the next Jane Lynch. She is all of them and none of them, dancing as her face morphs to fit the woman of the moment.
Cara Delevingne
Welcome to my side everyone. I hate Cara Delevingne. I have always hated Cara Delevingne. I think she’s annoying and weird and whatever clever or funny or interesting thing people saw in her I never did. I hated the sex bench stunt. I hate her presence in culture. I hate that she’s the new poster child for lesbians, after Ellen crashed and burned. She’s the worst thing to happen to Celesbian gossip since Ruby Rose. I don’t think she’s hot and I’m glad we’re turning our backs on her. To me she’s always been this kind of weirdo. Megan Thee Stallion was right to cut her out of that photo and was so gracious about having this freak around her all night. Cara showed why she is overhyped and undeserving of her fame and Megan showed why she is so good at all aspects of what she does.
TikTok
This trend is a little fun. I like to see how people ended up. The best are when people go from a kind of ok situation to really blossoming. I love when people quit their corporate jobs and are happier making less money. I like when they leave their shitty boyfriends. I like when they move from the city to a little piece of land in the country. Some people are incapable of seeing other people happy though, and feel the need to use this sound as yet another opportunity to talk about their trauma. It’s one thing for everyone to talk about their 2020 and how that got them to this point. As always with the pandemic the discourse can get a little sour when people talk about the good things that happened to them because of an objectively bad time that caused a lot of suffering for many. But several people are not even using the pandemic as a time frame, they’re just stating when their trauma began. I don’t know how many different ways I can find to say not to do this but here’s a new one. Don’t exploit your trauma for views. Exploit it for scholarships, essay contests, and trips to Disney. Don’t cry on camera for free.
Your Parents Raised Two Different Kids
This one can be very cute but I’ve yet to see one where the kids are so different I can’t see a world where they weren’t raised by the same parents. As much as I am happy for all the butch lesbians and trans kids with boring girly sisters, I can see how almost any set of parents raised them. I would love to hear from more boring girly sisters who love their siblings despite them not also being girly and boring. What I really want from this trend is non religious parents somehow raising a Catholic Nun and a Rabbi. Something with some flair. Some pizazz. Also something that’s not exactly a direct retaliation but a fun set of circumstances. We know how people with extreme views get children with the opposite views. What I want is a head scratcher. A circumstance even those involved can’t make heads or tails of. If anyone sees that please send it to me. They’re rare and weird but I’m hoping in a couple of weeks if this trend keeps popping around, we might get some really fun ones. We might also get people who hate their girly boring sister but that’s par for the course.
I Can’t Love You More Than My Hometown
After this I hope we do a trend where we say our mothers maiden names and our first pets. Better yet everyone says their social security number and we’ll all promise not to steal each other’s identities. It’s not even that big of a security risk but TikTok’s whole appeal is that random people see it. Following is not a necessity because the algorithm will show you what you need to see. Due to this trend I now know where a bunch of people, whose name’s I don’t even know, grew up and probably still live. Do they not teach basic internet safety anymore?
Texting His Group Chat While He’s In The Shower
I haaate this trend. I hate any trend that has to do with going on your boyfriend's phone, as an understood part of life. Not even because I’m a big believer in protecting privacy. Have you ever talked to a person who regularly looks through their partner’s phone? That kind of snooping is only the tip of the iceberg. They sound psychotic when discussing anything, which is usually limited to their toxic relationship because they are obsessed with their partner whom they also hate. Am I supposed to be on your side? I don’t care that anyone doing this trend got their feelings hurt. Good. Don’t look through other peoples phones. It’s not even the principle of the thing. It’s that everyone who does this is annoying. It’s none of your business what other people think of you.
fresno supremacy
Excellent issue