Meme Report 4/30
Walk with me, through the Jennifer Hudson Spirit Tunnel
Special Cultural Bulletin
Certain topics exist to be memes. They permeate the culture only through meme status. They do not have a week of apex popularity but are a constant well to return to for some time, always providing something for us. These are two current ones to be aware of.
The Jennifer Hudson Spirit Tunnel
The Jennifer Hudson Spirit Tunnel is our current version of the Hall of Judgement. The dutiful staff of JHud’s production team line up and chant for that day’s celebrity guest. The crowd varies in size from day to day, so I assume that at 10 am or so, a Slack message goes out and says who’s here today, and if people are excited, they line up to cheer them on. For some staffers, their presence is mandatory, and they must have spirit for whoever arrives at the end of the tunnel. Then the celebrity must walk through the tunnel and react with charm and grace to the chants of their name set to a familiar melody. To move through the tunnel successfully is to maintain one’s celebrity status. It is possible to upgrade one’s status through the tunnel. We could be further endeared to someone as they walk through the tunnel, but be careful, it is also possible to lose status in the tunnel. No one has their wits about them in the spirit tunnel. Humans feel the weight of their task as they move through it. Each mortal must make their walk through the tunnel in their own way. There is not one path to success through the tunnel. The great thing about the tunnel is that it’s there every day, and each day, someone new will be called up to walk through it. Some days it churns people out, and some days, the divinely gifted are able to walk through to our amazement and joy.
Nerds Gummy Clusters
America is a land of innovation. Specifically, food innovation. When a new disgusting treat hits the market, millions flock to the grocery store to try it out. Once in a while, someone finds something in the aisles of the grocery store and comes to all of us like a missionary. Have you heard the good news? The pickle flavored white claw (itself a delectable abomination) is actually good! Many people have taken up the cause of Nerds Gummy Clusters. Candy connoisseurs come to us laypeople to let us know that the best candy on the market right now is Nerds Gummy Clusters as if we’ve never heard the sentiment before. They’re like gushers covered in nerds. They’re not bad. The evangelizing of Nerds Gummy Clusters among the IYKYK crowd is directly related to how often adults have access to Nerds. Nerds are good enough on their own, the gummy cluster simply provides a mess-free way to enjoy them. But people don’t know why they like things, and they like to feel like they discovered something, so Nerds Gummy Clusters have a cult following.
Valentines Day Couple
First as tragedy, then as farce. This past Valentine’s Day, Twitter went crazy dissecting an otherwise boring gay couple’s home-cooked dinner date. Two months later, we’ve returned to the well, almost to absolve ourselves of the crimes of the winter. Valentine’s Day makes people testy and sensitive, and rising conservatism makes being a boring white gay couple an easy target for the woke and unwoke alike. This time we return to these boys, we’re making fun of the people who tore their dinner to shreds. In terms of an apology for the last time they were popular, all we can offer is meme status.
I’m So Hungry I Could Eat
On Twitter, this trend is more annoying but there’s something almost serious about this turn. Instead of joking in public in a group of friends, DMing a celebrity about someone from their very public past feels like confronting something. Like you might get an answer in secret. You’re not a journalist asking a question. You’re a human being trying to connect with another human being, though parasocially. There are certain kinds of gossip where you just need to know what happened. You promise not to tell anyone, and you mean it. Someone outside of their world has to know, and we hope to God it’s us. I understand this impulse. Go with God.
100 Men vs. A Gorilla
Obviously, the Gorilla would win.
TikTok
Party 4 U
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I’m sorry, but I’m revoking everyone’s party 4 u privileges. You’ve absolutely lost them. I don’t even register when the song is playing anymore. I just assume it's in the background of every video I watch. It's playing in my mind at all times. Party on you party on you party on you. It’s there even when I’m sleeping. I can’t get away from it, and while I’m happy you all love a Charli XCX song so much, you need a new toy to play with. Please. You’re like toddlers.
That was Rude
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The very ethos of this sound is upsetting to me. Everything about it sends shivers down my spine. The vague lingering of amateur musical theater performance. The accent of the singer. The use of rude. All of it adds up to catnip for the worst kind of people. Something about using Rudeness as your accusation of choice for correcting behavior never sits right with me. There are better words to use when responding to others’ indiscretions, and I always found rude lacking in description of the actual crime committed. Often, Rude just means a disruption of the status quo or a failure to follow some antiquated rule where no harm was actually caused. If your crime falls under the same category as wearing a hat indoors, it’s probably not that big a deal. Yet the people who use rude as their structure of right and wrong see it as their trump card. See, you’ve broken the social contract, a crime greater than hurting someone’s feelings. This trend is for people who try to guilt us into supporting their small business, which is always making acrylic paper weights.
She Was A Fairy
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Song of the summer alert! She Was A Fairy is one of the greatest expressions of fun I’ve seen on TikTok in a while. Whatever happened to fun? No one’s fun anymore. Everyone is trying too hard to talk about something. No one wants to talk about the fact that she was a fairy.
Does the pickle white claw actually exist? Literally thought I dreamed it and then searched my email and this is the only place I’ve seen it mentioned!!