Substack notes still going as expected… yet to be wowed…
There’s not much going on around Twitter dot com these days. Sure there’s Succession Sundays and the Love is Blind reunion that Netflix fucked up but most days tumbleweeds roll through. We do the same discourse as we always have and there’s less and less creative input. The characters that once populated the website have dwindled. We all speculated that there would be some grand last day of twitter where we would sign each other's year books. While Twitter feels like a school that we are all locked in, a more apt metaphor for what looks like the end is much more appropriate for our age and time. It’s a reservoir drying up. The ecosystem is less and less sustainable. Our species is dying out as the water dries up. I’ve said this before and I’ll keep saying it, I’ll be there until the last drop. There just might not be anything to report on.
Lana Del Rey and Margaret Qualley
I love this photo. First of all, I am a prep through and through so I have appreciation for a good Lilly Pulitzer dress. Next, I love any photo of a celebrity smoking a cigarette. Lastly, I love a good festival beer. A beer served in a plastic cup with foam that spills over the top. A beer that gets warm quickly in your hand. A beer served in a plastic cup that will be a perfect place to ash your cigarette into as the activities go on. This photo feels like a kind of East Coast summer time that I can smell. There’s not an exact Lana Del Rey song that fits this vibe, yet but I’m sure you could approximate it with a couple on a playlist.
Super Breeders
I know the internet doesn’t run on my time, but this feels like an under the wire assignment that has been turned in for, if nothing else, a participation grade. These fascist freaks want to create a race of superhumans with big tech genes. They get a profile once a year and everyone gets mad. The memes are fine, a natural reaction to being bamboozled. They’re memes to an end. We don’t want to forget these people and next time they show up with their sales pitch we’ll say aren’t these the people from the meme? And then we’ll make fun of them again.
Tik Tok
If I Were A Fish
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I have a subscriber only section devoted to being a bitch for a reason! These people seem like they can’t handle the negative thoughts I’m about to dish out. The paywall is for their protection as much as it is mine. They’ve proven they can’t handle the criticism, so I’ve put it somewhere they can’t reach it, unless they are sadists, then it’s not my fault. Subscribe now so tomorrow you can luxuriate in negativity behind the paywall.
Things [X] Ate And Survived
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This a trend that started as one thing and is now something entirely different. It started as way to talk about things their pet ate and survived. It then became the more modern interpretation of ate and was humorously applied to pets. People will use any excuse to post a photo of themselves and so the trend has morphed into people saying “things I ate and survived.”, almost totally ignoring the second part of the sentence and the original premise. Using the same set up for an adult human, as if you accidentally ate a whole chocolate cake or drank drain cleaner, to end up just posting a selfie is so funny to me. There’s a reason vanity is a sin and it’s because it makes you craft a narrative around yourself that is the same as the worst behavior of a dog. I’d like for us to go full circle and post things we’ve actually eaten and survived. Still post a hot selfie but please tell us about the time you ate expired meat.
Are You Still Sick
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The more I think about this, the more I love it. A beautiful piece of absurdist horror. It pulls from invasion of the body snatchers and zombie horror. A kind of micro fiction that has until now been unexplored. We put cameras and editing tools in everyone’s hands and it took until now to create mini narrative short films that are worth watching. It’s almost like a play. The script is the same, but each production brings their own staging and character choices to the video. I’d like to see where we can go with this, without thinking too hard.
sitting tight for the teased mean girl moment
Self-nominating to be the inaugural crazy slut of substack notes