Meme Report 4/14/26
Post Too Long For Email. See You in the App.
Euphoria
Well. It’s bad. We pretty much knew everything that was going to happen in this episode from press about the show (except for Maude Apatow being an assistant) so reactions online were mostly about all of us nodding along that 1) we hate this and 2) we are going to be watching every week. I am not expecting the new season of Euphoria to be grounded and realistic. I don’t know what I’m expecting anymore. When the show was about high schoolers I trusted it to be as fanciful as teenagers are and as glamorous as they want to be. Now that it is about adults, the styliziation doesn’t work and reminds me that we are in fantasyland with no kind of grounding at all. Anything can happen, which in this case is a bad thing
If the show weren’t so self serious it might be good again or at least fun. Instead we have to pretend that this is not Riverdale from the mind of someone who is an amalgamation of all the boys you meet in film school with the benefit of having a father who directed Rainmain1. I am interested in Rue’s journey with the pimp because I can tell Sam Levinson is having fun. I am not interested in Nate’s journey to build a chain of retirement homes because I know that is a mad libs of details meant to be interesting and sinister rather than a story that is going to develop. I’m sure everything will connect and there will be some kind of reveal halfway through the season about Nate’s involvement in the rest of the girls lives but for now he and Sydney are living a rejected storyline from The OC.
The discussion online, without much plot to go on, is about the degree to which Sam Levinson is a problem. Sam Levinson’s crime is being a pervert and it has yet to be worse than that. We want it to be worse than that but no one’s come forward yet so all we can accuse him of is leering and “being a creep”. Unfortunately, that’s like half of cinema. It’s bad for women in the same way the Special K diet was. It’s not worse than that, yet. It doesn’t disqualify him from making good television. That’s everything else that’s wrong with him. The audience hates him for this but can’t look away. This season is a test of when we will. Anyone can start a story from an interesting and provocative place, let’s see if he can finish it.
Pacers Couple
Grace is one of the few people on twitter who is still worth following. She falls into the category of poster I like the most, which is semi diaristic New York City girl who’s up on culture, hangs out with gay guys and is also really smart (wonder what I see in her). When I saw the clip of her arguing with her boyfriend I recognized her instantly and I wondered how this viral moment would play out for someone who is I consider to be really good at using the internet.
Twitter these days is a cesspool and sports media at large is famously not kind to women in its orbit, especially the fans. We saw everyone’s reactions, from “me and who?” to “she hates him” to Murray Hill Guy calling her a “beautiful mid”. I watched as my parasocial “friend” was thrown to the wolves and saw everyone else develop a less informed parasocial relationship with them. Every time I saw someone react to the meme out of context I thought “you don’t get it”, Even though I don’t get it either because I don’t know these people. We just have the same amount of screen time, reference points, and a few gay guys in common. In some cases that’s all it takes and is more than most. I will say Grace seemed to ride the wave of attention for all it was worth with minimal damage to her sparkling reputation. She still has my follow but she always did.
Artemis II
Science news for me falls under who cares. It’s like real news lite. It matters to the people it matters to but that’s not me. Every attempt to make me cry because we went to the moon was met with dry eyes. Maybe I saw too many “I fucking love science” facebook reposts from people I thought were stupid in my youth. Maybe it’s a grudge because they never care about my things. I have to talk about the moon but you don’t have to talk about Scamanda? Or Ben Lerner?
It’s Hole Filling Season
Next time the state of new york posts something vaguely suggestive, I don’t need it reposted on every Instagram story. Thanks, MGMT.
Helen DeWitt
Last week, I talked about how book people are really funny when they argue about fame and deserved praise because they are often unwilling to play to the larger culture of publicity, and the larger culture of publicity is for the illiterate. After that was published there was a scandal about that very thing. Helen DeWitt had to return a large literary prize because she wasn’t up to the task of the publicity along with it. This sparked a days long argument about the role of writer/genius in society and also, depression. Before she won the prize, I didn’t really know who she was but now I’m familliar not only with her work but her social media pressence. I believe in PR, they call that an Uno Reverse. She doesnt want to do promotional work which is a shame because shes great at it! Get her on subway takes! Give her the money to hire an aide to get her wifi up and running so she can go on How Long Gone. I fell to my knees upon discovering she splits her time between Berlin and Vermont, a state filled almost exclusively with genius shut ins who pretend they don’t know how to use the internet. She needs to go on Call Her Daddy.
TikTok
Coachella
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Here’s what I like about Coachella: once a year, everyone who is famous for either music or being on the internet is sent to the desert to earn their keep. It’s what I imagine a Mad Max movie is like. The musicians earn their laurels by performing and then hanging out with other musicians to show us that they are all friends. The people on the internet show us that they can hang in less than ideal conditions and what they were able to squeeze out of brands. Mickey’s Mick Mansion sponsored by Poppi is the biggest collab I’ve seen this year and the one I’m most impressed by. All the others influencers seem to be slacking. How the hell is Victoria Paris going to afford another mold sniffing dog for her home if she keeps this up? I need everyone to step their game up.
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My favorite moment was Cameron Winter of Geese covering Baby by Justin Bieber. The current music crush covering the first music crush. It’s what girls liked in middle school versus what they like now. Who will win? It hasn’t been as fun to watch from afar this year but there is always weekend 2. Of course, next year I would love to deliver a report up close. @ Substack @ Substack Team @ Hamish McKenzie please send me along with a team of fun young culture writers to Coachella next year to write about it. I will make it worth your while. I will wear substack orange the whole time. Please. I want to go on a brand trip.
The Masters
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I would also consider an invite to The Masters. I can tell I’m aging out of Coachella and aging into a weekend in Augusta. Going under cover with the Southern Country Club set sounds more fun (and better for my career). This weekend, I enjoyed more of the content I got about The Masters than I did about Coachella. I understand Coachella and it’s more or less for someone like me to spend their disposable income on. The Masters is a bit foreign to my yankee sensibilities. I understand southern pomp and circumstance as something I don’t come to naturally which is why I’m drawn to it. I’m hoping I can learn to understand this obsession I don’t share. I want to learn more about this world. I want a Miss Congeniality like transformation so I can understand these people more. I want to eat a pimento cheese sandwich because frankly it sounds disgusting. I’ve seen the inside of every airbnb in Indio. I want to experience something new.
Mamadou
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A while ago someone (mid 20s upper middle class white woman, probably) noticed that a lot of delivery drivers in New York City are named Mamadou. I understand the desire to be over familiar with a person you are paying to do something for you in an attempt to assuage any guilt you may feel. It’s not a solution. I think there is a difference between trying to empathize with a person in different circumstances from you by learning and remembering their name and using the name that you see frequently as a shorthand for everyone who does that job. The second one is racist! Listening to Audrey Peters say “shoutout mamadou” as a way to thank her unseen and unknown delivery driver to her audience was jarring, more so than the discovery that she uses doordash for every meal. Knock it off.
My Last Meal
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For those unfamiliar there is a youtube series called my last meal where celebrities share their last meal and a chef cooks it for them. They’ve rebranded the death row meal for their nice core fans but that’s what the concept is based on. Most people who watch the series are regular people who complain when the celebrities get too fancy with it and only request food from nice restaurants. They want the videos to be relatable. WRONG. Watching regular people share their last meals is boring. I don’t know you! I don’t care about your grandmother’s cooking! You weren’t in Martha Marcy May Marlene! There’s more to the world than what you have already experienced and what is comfortable! Every piece of content is a way to learn about human behavior. For example: My favorite part is that almost everyone who goes on the show includes high quality raw fish of some kind. The telltale mark of exposure to wealth in LA is a taste for raw fish and everyone includes it because they will take any opportunity to get someone else to pay for it, another hallmark of living in Los Angeles.
For a long time I was forgiving towards Sam Levinson’s nepo baby status because I was confusing Barry Levinson and Barry Sonnenfeld. I thought the son of the man who directed Adam’s Family Values deserved a shot.
Omg I thought Barry Sonnenfeld was his dad too right up until now