Meme Report 4/12
Why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Is it just a game to you?
Substack launched Notes… We’ll see what happens there! Here’s my first note:
See what you can do with it!
I have to link out Twitter videos now because no one knows how to act like a grown-up.
To be a SpongeBob kid is something you carry with you forever. It’s like going to summer camp or breaking a bone. It defines you in a way and lets you join up with the other kids. It’s easy-access to a club that welcomes you with open arms. This recent meme is like having a meeting of SpongeBob kids together on the timeline. It’s gathering at the lunch table or dorm room and talking about an episode we love. This moment with the Girly Teengirl clip is just another in a series of memories we all get to share together.
Linger
“If you… if you could return… don’t let it burn… don’t let it fade I’m sure I’m not being rude but it’s your attitude…. It’s tearing me apart… It's ruining every day…
- The Cranberries, Linger
So begins the seminal hit by The Cranberries, who are enjoying a somewhat ongoing renaissance. It captures the feeling of being a teenager so well that it is passed down from teen girl to teen girl. There’s a teenage girl born every minute, as they say, so the song is in that version of the public consciousness. Every time someone plays this song, I am sent back to listening to it while doing my math homework, in what could only be described as an attempt to try to feel every emotion at once. This song has a unique power over so many of us that it’s ripe for memes. The feeling is so specific and so powerful that it can be distilled into jokes. It is not the same kind of meme song as the ones we make fun of but a shorthand for the emotional 4-minute and 33-second journey we go on. It’s almost like saying remember when we did that? Or reminiscing about something that was hard and painful at the time but laughing about it now. Except the past was just a song that we can return to and feel the same way again, or at least try to.
Fun side note. This current image macro trend was started by the Your Fave is Problematic creator who is now just another Liberal Arts grad and Brooklyn resident on Twitter. Once a trend creator, always a trend creator. Or maybe it’s... You can take the girl off of Tumblr, but you can’t take Tumblr out of the girl. No wait it’s… Give a girl a post, and she goes viral for a day, teach a girl to post and she goes viral for a lifetime.
Opportunity to Do The Funniest Thing Ever
A new phrase has entered the lexicon. It is said in response to a news story with a specific scenario. This scenario sets up a person with a connection to the story to do “the funniest thing ever”, usually the funniest thing ever is to die or kill someone. It varies depending on the story at hand and you can discern from context what it would be in a given situation. This one had a slow build but has ramped up in recent weeks. The problem with the phrase is that the saturation point is really early. There’s only a certain amount of ‘Funniest thing ever”s we have in us before they’re not that funny, just played out. There’s a limit and it’s fast approaching.
Abby Lee Miller Anya Taylor Joy Gif
Gif placement is quickly becoming a lost art form. Mostly because it feels like we’ve seen every gif and there’s only a handful of them. The gifs that simply depict what happened are not good enough anymore. We need the ones with a striking narrative. The art form is changing, as it should. This one is an incredible addition to the cannon. I could watch it for hours. I don’t know the best situation to use it in because I don’t really read the text associated with it ever. I just watch the gif. I watch it three or four times. Every time I see it, it’s like the first time. It’s mesmerizing. It’s kind of like when you watch a movie and remember what you like about movies. This gif reminds me of what's possible.
TikTok
Flavored Water
Every couple of months or so, we do the same song and dance. Secret TikTok addicts take to Twitter and talk about an obscure group of hobbyists they’ve found. These hobbyists are usually suburban white women who over-consume. They have large collections of things you really only need one of. Or they prepare food that relies heavily on products created in the last ten years to taste like something else. This most recent iteration happens to have both. Flavored water TikTok is the latest community we’ve chosen to look down on from our lofty perch.
Now, we can all agree this phenomenon is deeply American. Of course, we view overconsumption of both plastic and sugar as American, in the negative sense, but the process that leads to this creation is also American, in a somewhat more positive sense. To me, these water women are pure American ingenuity. These people saw what the world had to offer them in terms of syrupy drinks and decided to make their own.
Flavored water TikTok is the purest form of the American drink chain. Every single corner of the United States has its own version of this drink, we just ask someone else to make it for us. From the Custom Soda Shops in Utah to the coffee syrups of Dunkin Donuts in New England to Dutch Bros on the other side of the Mississippi, to the Red Bull Spritzer stands of the Pacific Northwest. we love flavor syrup in our drinks even if we don’t know that’s what it is. These TikToks make us confront the truth we’d rather not face. There is no magical concoction. Your favorite chain or local cafe does not have a specially made dragon fruit or prickly pear or cotton candy mix they make themselves. This whole house of cards is built on Torani syrups or their off-brand competitors.
These women we’ve become obsessed with aren’t fooling themselves like we are. They’re going straight to the source, buying it wholesale, and making it themselves. They’re not relying on a restaurant to supply their favorite beverage to them. They’re also experimenting and creating their own beverages. We think we’re above them because they’re calling it water. We could have avoided all this if they called it lemonade. Or, as many upscale cafes like to label (sparkling) water and flavored syrup, Italian Soda. We’d like to look down on these women, lying to themselves about the content of these so-called waters, when I would argue, they’re the only ones telling the truth. They’re the only ones mixing their special beverages themselves, while the rest of us simply wait for the barista to hand us ours. Or press the magic buttons on the Coke freestyle machines and act like we have no idea how they made a Peach Vanilla Mellow Yellow.
The Stanley Cup (not the Hockey one) collecting element I have no defense for. Anyway, I made this.
Who The Fuck Is Calling Me When I’m So Busy
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I’m just happy you guys are having fun. I don’t necessarily need to enjoy it as well.
Nuke Radio
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Remember when the internet was fun? This sound brings me back to those times. Before it felt like the party was over and everything was AI. There is no commentary, no fighting. Just a silly goofy moment as a reprieve from all the suffering. It reminds me of a day tweets were funny and youtube videos were not monetized. Do you remember? Did you ever know what that felt like? Perhaps it is a bygone era and we’ll never feel that joy again. Our brains have been addled in too many ways. Perhaps… Perhaps not. Perhaps some are still capable of pure joy. It’s only a turn of the imaginary dial to go back to that place… Nuke Radio.