Gwyneth’s Ski Trial
“There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity”
— M. Gustav, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Dir. Wes Anderson, IMDb Quotes Page
I often bemoan the times when nothing is happening, when we are devoid of cultural happenings. I was doing it just last week. This week we are blessed with the best celebrity trial to ever grace the pages of the New York Post This trial has everything: class, glamor, skiing accidents. Gwyneth Paltrow is back in the limelight and is here to remind us she is a true movie star.
This is not our first celebrity trial but it’s the only one with class. We’ve seen celebrities take the stand before, but never with such grace and class. Gwyneth is reminding us why we all liked her and what she actually has to offer the world. Movie stars are American royalty and Nepo babies are the closest thing we have to a line of succession (speaking of rich people we love). With this trial, Gwyneth cements her place in American culture. She is all she seemed to be in film. When she smiles at you, you feel like the only lawyer in the whole courtroom. As is the job of any Princess.
I, like many, hope this trial never ends. I hope she enters the courtroom in a new alpaca wool turtleneck every day. I hope she is cross-examined once a week. When it inevitably comes to an end, I hope she returns to the silver screen. She’s a star and she always will be. I want to see her put it to good use. I love Gwyneth Paltrow and I’m tired of pretending I don’t.
Pope Coat AI
I’m not going to sit here and act like I knew the Pope coat pic was AI when I first saw it. I didn’t, but the Pope Coat felt in line with all other elements of Catholicism known to me. Unfortunately, because I, and many others, thought “Cool Coat” and went along with our day we now have to have a conversation about The Realities of AI. I know, I know, Question everything. That conversation would be a lot more interesting if the thoughts the image inspired were more complex than “Cool Coat!” When I believe the AI Trump photos then I’ll be interested but for now, I feel like we’re all being punished when we didn’t do anything wrong.
TikTok
I Am Not (I Woke Up In A New Bugatti)
This sound perfectly encapsulates the feeling of reality encroaching on our emotions. “I Woke Up In A New Bugatti” here punctuates the middle of a depressed thought. It wakes us from our self-pity and brings us to the world. A world almost entirely separate from the one we create in our heads. The reality everyone else is living in. It forces us to reconsider the narrative we’ve been rehearsing in our heads. It adds missing context. Here, he needed context to shake oneself back to life is a song from 2013 blaring from a passing car. Sometimes we don’t need comfort, we need an ice bath.
Oui, Peut-être
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This sound comes to us from The President of France, Emmanuel Macron. A meme Internationalé. Now, while I do not personally agree with Macron on the policy he is currently trying to enforce, one must admit “Oui, Peut-être” is a little bit fun. Obviously, Memeforum stands in solidarity with the French workforce and believes the retirement age should stay at 62, but I enjoy the silliness of conversational Presidential hostility. Finally, the French have their own version of “Obamna Soda”. One does not need to understand French to understand this meme, just their general attitude about everything.
Me (Liberal)
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When conservatives make fun of liberals, they often lose. The worst thing they can think to say about liberals is met with “yeah that’s true.” Their attempts to show the kind of fun liberals have is poorly reenacted and lack grounding in the real world. This most recent round of back and forth is fun because it includes a little dance. I’m glad everyone’s having fun.