Important News: Substack now has an app! If you love this newsletter but hate that whenever you try to like and comment it takes you to the website and you have to login, suffer no more! The app solves that problem! The app also offers easy access to other newsletters as well! If you are looking to become more immersed in the newsletter scene, the app is perfect for you!
A Dog Walks Into A Tavern
Goddddd. I love this meme. I think it’s funny but I also love what it represents. It is a gold mine. For those of you who don’t know, the original was “A dog walked into a Tavern and said ‘I can’t see a thing, so I’ll open this one’” and it’s from a joke book from ancient Sumer. SUMER. The first civilization. It doesn't make sense to us in our modern society but that’s not stopping us. It has a recognizable set up and punch line and that’s enough. Human civilization is such a crazy thing but it’s amazing what we create over and over again. Alcohol, parties, war, jewelry, make-up, and of course, jokes. We all just want to be silly with each other. Ever since we started on the banks of the Tigress and Euphrates, we’ve been joking around. Every joke has the power to become a meme, so of course we take the dog and see what our culture has to offer him. We give him the best meme treatment a dog could ask for. A joke so old it’s written in cuneiform, though incomprehensible, can still be given the doge treatment. Almost brings a tear to my eye.
Nothing Compares To An Iranian Breakfast
The number one mistake someone can make on the internet is talking about food and expecting it to go over in a normal way. Don’t get me wrong, the food looks incredible and I would love to eat it but every time someone posts their breakfast, they get quote tweeted to death. Americans chime in saying it can’t compare to a 7/11 hot dog or other disgusting delicacies we’ve manufactured in a lab. British people chime in with that same picture of a full english that goes viral on twitter every three months. The people who don’t eat vegetables will say there’s too many. The keto people will tell you there’s too many carbs. Everyone has something to say and almost none of it is “Looks good! Hope you enjoy your meal!” Obviously a good chunk of it is racism and misplaced patriotism but I would also assign some of it to a childlike hatred of vegetables. These overblown reactions cause the phrase of the original tweet to stay in everyone’s minds forever. Nothing Compares to an Iranian Breakfast can now be associated with any meal. Now that people are done with their temper tantrums, it is funny to post your meal, however shitty or non-Iranian it may be and attach the caption “nothing compares to an Iranian breakfast.”, in a way proving that nothing compares to an Iranian breakfast.
TikTok
Do Your Best Friend And Boyfriend Get Along?
This trend gives me the ability to do what I love the most: speculate on the nature of other people's relationships. I’ve never been involved in this kind of triad, especially one where cheating could happen so it’s fun to observe. Is the best friend aware of a deeply toxic relationship that she is trying her best to wait out? Is she fucking him? Are they perhaps just friends? The only one I’ve seen where the answer was clear was one where the best friend was the boyfriends sister. Other than that any conclusion is fair game. Pick any video under this sound at random and watch it five times. Send it to your friends and have them watch it five times. Present your arguments.
Space Filter with Reading Rainbow Theme Song
Finally some good fucking food. This filter is so good. Every person does the same thing but with their own little spin. It’s great. The ones on my FYP make me giggle every time. It’s been so long since there was a trend that I genuinely enjoyed. I am excited to watch each video when it on my FYP. Thank GOD. The filter is good, the Reading Rainbow song is good, the faces people make when they’re pretending to think about the fun fact that they just shared with people are so good. Keep up the good work everyone and enjoy it while it lasts.
In my heart of hearts, I am a romantic. I like this trend, up to a point. I think it gets at a truth that most people are able to find enduring love with a person who is a little bit weird in the same way they are, rather than with someone who is exceptionally hot and does hot things. However this opens the floodgates for nerds to talk about how weird they are, which makes my skin crawl. The nerd tone when talking about things like drinking or sex makes my stomach turn. The undercurrent is always “yeah I’m a nerd AND I have sex” which is a lethal combo that makes someone hard to be around. The occasional one of these is good but I draw the line at thinking other people will enjoy your story about meeting your soulmate at the Anime convention, and also making a drawing about it on your tablet when you make horrible fandom art.
Wheels vs. Doors is a debate sparked by a tweet that has been raging on tiktok for about a week now. The premise is this…. Are there more doors or wheels in the world? I love lively debate on the internet. We all remember the fun we had with The Dress. I love this one because TikTok automatically sorted me onto the correct side (wheels) and I love being right. I only wish the debate weren’t so obvious. The thing that blew me away was that Lego is the largest manufacturer of tires in the world for all their toy cars. There’s simply so many wheels in the world. Doors doesn’t even come close.
Incredible. The “wow she’s just like me” meme but with a healthy dose of reality. I’m just like the batman, is i’m sure a thought we’ve all had at one point in our silly little lives. It’s important to enumerate why exactly we’re that Batman. I also love this trend because I love Batman, (the character) and The Batman (the movie). Batman brings out something in all people and this trend lets us finally approximate why he means so much to us. We’re just like him!
ok there's a really good batman one about a teenage barista who is saving his Starbucks from a guy who poops on his patio and it really was like a highlight for me last week