Meme Report 2/16
Is Clavicular the New JFK Jr?
No. But it would be fun if he were.
Clavicular
This past weekend, everyone’s favorite sideshow freak Clavicular went to New York Fashion Week to walk in the Elena Velez show. For my fellow New Yorkers who spend too much time on the computer, this was a big deal. We all know that everyone who lives here is conscripted into working for the tourism board in some way, shape, or form. We all want to show off the city for the gratifying exclamation of “wow, I can’t believe you live here!” We love getting one over on these rubes from the hinterlands. Clavicular is the perfect victim. Handsome, Stupid, Confident, receiving an excised amount of attention that will fade quicker than he knows how to capitalize on it. He’s not ready for New York full-time, and we all know that. We’re chomping at the bit to be one of the people who prove to him that his world is still small and limited. We all fantasized about being one of the people to babysit him while he was there, being the one to show him there’s a world outside framemogging the ASU fratleader.
Liberal
We’ve transitioned from the “Get Em Banned” video, which is still going and still fun, to ironic Alex Jones posting. Ironic Alex Jones posting is a drunk cigarette. It’s so wrong, and it feels so right. We all know we’re not supposed to. He is evil, and I think successfully deplatformed at this point, but like all conservative mouthpieces, he does have a compelling way of speaking. He has to garner any kind of audience. A skill is a skill. While we all know he’s reprehensible, there’s still something lyrical about the way he says “liberal liberal liberal” and then tacks on a few of his conspiracies. I personally like how he stumbles at the end to think of another fake idea he sells to his idiotic fanbase. I like the peak behind the curtain.
“Get Em Banned” and “liberal liberal liberal” are two sides of the same coin. They are both responses to others’ behavior and not an internal reflection, as most reaction videos are. “Get ‘Em Banned” is the strict response, the one that views others’ behavior as over the line and not good enough. “Liberal liberal liberal” is going too far, viewing others as too passive, but only rolling your eyes in response. Get Em Banned is action. Liberal is reaction.
Valentine’s Day Couple
This is a lesson in playing the long game. Last year, a nice, normal gay guy posted a picture of his first Valentine's Day dinner with his boyfriend, and everyone had a meltdown as lonely people on Valentine's Day are wont to do. I think we all felt bad about it after the fact. They didn’t deserve that, and it was an overreaction. We even went back to the post at some point earlier in the year as a joke, mostly because we were bored but also to some degree as an apology. In the back of our minds, we were all wondering if these boys were still together and if they would post this year. Quietly on February 13th, Benji purchased a blue check to maximize his attention payout and waited all day to reveal that he and his boyfriend were still together and they had steak for dinner. Everyone dutifully interacted with the post because they had to, because what happened last year was so annoying. Not everything needs to be tears and an apology tour. Sometimes the best thing one can do is build suspense and maximize the payout. But also, you get one. I don’t need to see these boys next year.
TikTok
Homewrecker by Sombr
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Sombr makes music that should exclusively be used for edits. It’s not good enough to listen to on its own, and I never want to hear it at the grocery store or good forbid, a club. But when played as part of a Jess and Rory edit, I’m on board. It’s saccharine and obvious, but so are edits. The unfortunate thing is that he can never know this and must continue trying to be a genuine pop star, which I’m less excited about.
Primary School Globalism
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I, too, saw this in a rare aesthetic video this summer and thought, whatever happened to elementary schools promoting peace and love across the world? It seems to have fallen out of favor in recent years. There is something beautiful about the children who were raised to believe that all men are brothers regardless of their race, nationality, or culture getting mad when they realize that is true, we’re just not living that way. The childish idea that we all can and should peacefully coexist on this earth is the correct one. It is funny that the world I was promised was one of peace and love and now I am angry and upset because for SOME REASON we can’t live that way. This will be a founding tenet of Woke 2.