Meme Report 12/13
Goth Punk Moment of Female Rage Incoming
Panera Lemonade That Kills You
Here’s the thing about the jokes about the Panera Lemonade that kills you jokes, half of them aren’t jokes. This may be surprising to some of you, but some people actually have a death wish. We’ve spent years and years talking about mental illness and mental health awareness and a lot of people still can’t recognize that when some people say the deaths make them want to try the Panera lemonade that kills you, they aren’t joking. This is not an archetype unique to the internet, there are plenty of people out there who see something like this and suddenly have unyielding urge to try it. I think those people should be allowed express themselves, it’s not like scolding them is going to stop it.
The people who do need to stop are the fakers. The ones who want to seem cool to the ones with the death wish. The internet has always been a place where people don’t seem to understand that some people aren’t joking. Anyone can make a Twitter account, so all experiences are up for discussion and not everyone you encounter is safely tucked away in a suburb with normal responses to external stimuli. Some people really want to try the Panera lemonade because it’s dangerous and some people are only pretending because they think we’re all pretending.
What’s The Craziest Thing a Man Has Ever Said To You While Trying To Flirt
Someone asked a question about flirting and in turn we lost all sense of decorum. After the years of hard work, everyone has decided that it’s suddenly ok to act shocked and horrified about Grindr screenshots again. Someone was sexually forward and antisocial on the anonymous sex app? The app that exists to cut through social courting rituals and get right to it has led people to say things that are both impolite and perverse? Color me surprised!
For days people have been complaining (bragging) about weird things said to them on Grindr and we’ve opened the flood gates to just let anything through. Typical arbiters of taste have said nothing as people continue to post unremarkable but slightly weird interactions they’ve had on the app and I would like to say enough. Dating app screenshots are the lowest form of content and we should all know better. All this for a quote tweet prompt too? Shame on all of you.
Gag City
You can tell the new Nicki Minaj album isn’t good because no part of it has gone viral on its own. No verse stands out to inescapable TikTok acclaim. I’m not seeing any screenshots of lyrics that make my jaw drop. It’s not permeating the culture the way we know Nicki Minaj can and often does. Instead we have to pretend this corporate sponsorship with AI is worth participating in. We have to act like Gag city is a) not manufactured and b) funny. I can feel everyone smiling through their teeth and trying to make me think this is funny. They think if they flood the market with posts we’ll eventually have to concede that one of the posts made us laugh. Never gonna happen.
A Goth Punk Moment of Female Rage
Taylor Swift talked about one of her most misunderstood albums in the press this week and it turns out that no one knows what that album is about… not even her. Say what you will about her but she is a wordsmith. She can craft a phrase like no other even if, and perhaps especially if, it is not in touch with reality. This meme speaks to the fake goth era every prep must have. Everyone needs a moment where you try really hard to be dark and mysterious, where you dye your hair and try to be a member of a subculture you have no place in. These meme became an expression of every mainstream media attempt to make a blonde girl punk. An under discussed and undervalued part of our culture.
TikTok
I know I do this a lot but it feels important to mark the lulls in TikTok. Where I am utterly dissatisfied with the content produced on the app and see no hope for the future there. There is nothing there that excites me. All the personalities have gone and we have yet to produce a new one worth anything. The spark has definitely gone in a way that is undefinable. While I’ll stay on Tumblr and Twitter until they unplug the servers, I am more ready to leave TikTok at a moments notice.
Thematic Disney Edits
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I love these. I love that they are 5 minutes long, play full clips from the show and are barely scored with music. I don’t even know if my love is ironic or genuine. Mostly, the point they are making feels obvious and silly because it is from a Disney channel show which is essentially television with training wheels but sometimes they get me! Sometimes there’s a sudden gut wrenching moment from what otherwise looks like the worst show to ever air on the Disney Channel, Girl Meets World. Perhaps I can approach this edits with the nuance and subtlety never afforded to the shows themselves.
Perfect Gift For Christmas
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It wouldn’t be December without some mass appeal sound referencing Christmas and gift giving and more importantly, Gift getting. You can always count on TikTok to get at our most base uncritical American desires. To Shop Til We Drop and to receive items. To be on TikTok is to be constantly exposed to the wants and desires of other people, however basic and boring. It is a place so teeming with want, all of which is unfiltered for quality or content that of course Christmas becomes about all the things they are or aren’t getting.
As always, thank you for being our leading warrior against Grindr screenshots.