This week Elon Musk took control of Twitter and while all the jokes about rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic were funny, I don’t see us going that way. I still use tumblr and that website has died more times than I can count. In the words of a voice lost to time, “I’ll keep drinking that garbage.” and you know we will. We’ll be here when he scraps the website and sells it for parts. Until then, I’m still logging on, day in, day out.
Heidi Klum Worm
I don’t have enough words to describe how much I love the Heidi Klum worm. The things you can do when you are unequivocally beautiful. She can be as ugly and as silly as she wants. Heidi Klum is everything all the other pretty girl intellectuals think they are. If they were secure in their status, they wouldn’t be trying to prove their intellect, they’d be trying to prove their silliness. Anyone can be smart, it takes a genius to be silly.
Geoguessr Man
We all want to be the geoguessr man. Brilliant, deadpan, worldly. He holds immense power in this world by being mildly attractive with a brain that seems perfectly calibrated to only do one thing. This meme is an attempt to copy his delivery so that we might approach his standing. We never will. No one will ever be the geoguessr except the geoguessr. I appreciate the effort but I can feel the seething jealousy, even if that was not the intention.
Rotisserie chicken Chicken Man
I’m happy this is real, that the man doing it is hot and lives in Philadelphia with his wife. All of those facts together complete the picture for me. If he was ugly, unmarried, or from anywhere else, I might have a few gripes but since those are the facts, there is nothing to complain about. Modern society separates us from our natural human impulses so we must act out in whatever ways we need to. This man satisfied his evolutionary desires by eating a rotisserie chicken every day for forty days. Like Jesus in the desert.
Old People at Slot Machines
Trying to make me think about societal collapse by watching old people at a casino isn’t going to work. I can think of so many things more sad and more evil. Every week we are forced to think about all the ways the world is ending. Casinos are ever-present evil, just because we have videos of them now doesn’t make them more evil than they were before. Grow up.
Low Key Goated
This one didn’t tickle my fancy. It’s not that I didn’t like it. I just need to see more. If we had a concentrated two days with it, I think it could have been more fun. Instead, we got a lot of bringing-a-gun-to-a-knife-fight-type jokes. Which are fine. But I’ll always love an 11th-hour grasping-at-straws version of this kind of Twitter meme and with no ubiquity, we never reach that point. Just people online enough to think they’re original, but not online enough to see the joke they’re making has already been made.
Tiktok
I Finna Be In The Pit
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Oh, taraswrld. An influencer who moved to LA in 2020 because she thought we liked her enough to fund her influencer lifestyle. We do not. She misused AAVE and everyone took the opportunity they’d been waiting for to make fun of her. Does she deserve it? Probably. Will we take it too far at some point? Maybe. This is the release we’ve been waiting for. We needed this. Every iteration of “I finna be in the pit” makes me at least smile. It’s so ridiculous, and her apology only makes things worse. I’ll be interested to see how long we can keep this going, especially because while the phrase itself is funny, we’re really here to tear this girl down. It’s only a matter of time before someone realizes, and gets a bad taste in their mouth. I personally don’t care but I’m preparing for next week’s discourse already.
The story is stupid and poorly told, plus 2k for Harry Styles pit? In LA? He’s here for the next month and a half, go a different night.
We Don’t Run This City, The Rats Do
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
I love the original and so far it’s the gift that keeps on giving. The obvious TikTok “turn it on its head.” I love that we want more from this sound. We want to live in the moment of it a little bit longer. I’m happy to do so. I do want to see what we do next, but I’m not ready for us to get annoying yet. I want to enjoy this sound while I can before we oversaturate the market.
What Is That Melody?
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
If you like music and riddles, this is the trend for you! A classic thing we love on TikTok. Writing little guessing games for each other. This one is fun but we need to think of new ones. Assume the phoebe bridgers, Taylor swift, Lana del ray, and marina and the diamonds versions have already been done. What’s next? Give me a hard one.
Me Charging Up
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
This one is for boring gay guys that need something to do. Throw them a couple of out-of-context Nicki lyrics and they’ll make some kind of lackluster meme with all the buzzwords. Good for them, I guess.
So happy to see love for Klum Worm and her refusal to intellectualize her costume. So many red carpet interviewers asked her "why worm?" as if there was some esoteric reference they could then thinkpiece to death. If you can't immediately see the appeal of a glamorous German woman transforming herself into a worm, there's no helping you.
Was waiting for taraswrld to come into the memeforum sphere! I don't think we'll see the last of her