Meme Report 1/16/25
RIP TikTok i guess....
Oneshotted
If you spend too much time on the internet you will learn to speak a language that is less about conveying meaning and more of a parlor game. It’s about crafting new synonyms for every recognizable word in the English language and making it so that only people who can read it are the ones playing the game. At a certain point, the fake words become more important than saying anything. Perhaps what separates us from the turbo normies is our ability to read this and know that none of it matters. I’m sure the person who strung this little exercise together is proud of themselves but it's mostly like when someone puts together a really amazing thought exercise. It’s not the same as giving a speech or writing a poem. It’s mostly about making other people go “huh.”
Leaked Photo of Heaven
One of those accounts that exists to post AI images designed to make people crazy accidentally created something beautiful. “Leaked Photo of Heaven” is the perfect meme for late-stage Twitter. Ideas immediately flooded the timeline. Headlines from years ago recirculated with this new phrase at our disposal. “Leaked Photo of Heaven” is proof that maybe it’s not all bad. Maybe we can learn to coexist with these horrible accounts by mining them for all their worth as we’ve done with the Trads. That being said I think the level of religious psychosis that is publicly allowed has risen and we need to knock it down again.
TikTok
These might be the last TikToks I ever cover. Take that how you will.
Big Bird
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I'll miss you most of all British people. I learned so much about your culture and your country. Finally, a new more modern version of Britain was presented to Americans and we understand it less and less every day. Hopefully, in the future, we can find a connection to this beautiful but fascinating culture through other channels once (if) TikTok goes away. If not it’s been nice to know you. Across the pond never felt so close.
Epic The Musical
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Oof. In these potential last days of TikTok, we’ve boiled edits down to their essential elements. Everything is obvious. The song says exactly what it means and the edits are clips from different things. It’s more pattern recognition than an understanding of story, history, or emotional manipulation. We’ve reached the end. We had a good run.
Trench Coat Buttoned To The Top
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If I were to let myself be sad about the TikTok ban, this is what I will miss the most. This meme is based on a screenshot of an Instagram post about Lily-Rose Depp and her girlfriend (or boyfriend) 070Shake. Everyone has taken their spin on the ramblings about how allegedly rude Lily-Rose was. It’s getting attention now that Lily is proving that she has some star power. There’s always something I liked about that girl and “trench coat buttoned to the TOP” is the proof. Everyone is doing their part to validate that yes we like this Lily Rose Depp girl, no matter what the haters say. It’s also a chance for everyone to practice their accent work, and where will do that once this is over?
And To My Chinese Spy…
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I do think it’s funny to pretend we’re willing participants in our predicament. To pretend we had any power here and that we chose this. We don’t care that the Chinese government is spying on us, we love the spy that so carefully poured over our data. Under the surveillance we’re all being watched and the fantasy we all harbor is that if we’re being watched we better be entertaining. The watchful eye of the Chinese government is the same as the watchful eye of a mother, a teacher, or even someone who has a crush on you. To be watched by an invasive algorithm is to be understood, and to be understood is to be loved.