Fake Twitter Blue Options
Twitter unites under the rallying cry “this website is free” It’s what keeps us all there every day. The idea of a paid twitter experience betrays everything we like about the website. But everyone has a price. These fake Twitter options were essentially everyone naming their price. The prices were impossible to pay but we named them. I, personally, would pay for Twitter if it meant I got to learn the details of everyone’s personal relationships. I want to know why certain people don’t interact as much anymore. I want a notification when two people who have followed each other for more than let’s say two years unfollow each other. That’s my price and I would gladly pay it when it becomes available. Until then? This website is free.
Use The Voice
Finally a Dune meme for people who at the very least have seen the movie. That’s what I love about Dune is that all of the fantasy concepts are not really that crazy and can be easily interpreted. Spice is drugs, the giant sandworm is a giant sandworm and the voice is something generations of women have perfected in order to get men to do whatever they want. Simple concepts that can be applied to real life people. The voice was my favorite part of Dune before the memes. I love thinking about real life people who have a voice of their own. A great contribution to the Dune Meme Cannon.
Yassification
I am so torn up with how to talk about this meme. Every time I’m out, it pulls me back in. I do have some problems with it. First of all, the first person to really abuse the faceapp feature as a joke was twitter user, Claire Penis, who is very funny and did it at least six months ago. She has not been vocal about other people stealing her joke but let’s give credit where it's due. Beyond that I hate the Yassify bot. It fast tracked the meme to be unbearable too quickly. It also removed the individual creative potential of the meme. I want each person to think of their own person to yassify and do it themselves. It’s at the very least annoying that the yassify “bot” is the central hub for all of these and I’m not getting weird one offs from all the funny gay people I follow on twitter. It removes the potential for the meme to becomes truly weird. Ok we’ve done paintings, and historical figures, and memes but who else. Give me something transcendent. It’s also not a bot. It’s clearly one person doing all of these and not some automated algorithm. If it was a bot they would all look the same but some are better than others. Some are clearly just slapped with the filter as many times as possible but some are artfully crafted and funnier for it. The William Shakespeare one was the former but the Aileen Wuornos one was the later and better for it. Once you see your favorite, all of the bad ones seem worse. It becomes clear how cheap and stupid the joke is especially done en masse to any person anyone can think of. I want care and time and artfulness applied to these and we just don’t have that. Without beauty applied to the Yassification of these pictures, they are empty gestures. They are the Lion NFTs for people who don’t know how NFTs work.
House of Gucci
The Wes Anderson Cannes meme but 1000 times worse because they are not dressed differently enough. Stop trying to make red carpet memes happen. Absolutely no one enjoys them. Especially when this is the same red carpet where Lady Gaga said “I don't believe in the glorification of murder, I do believe in the empowerment of women.” (I’m waiting for that to really take off and it hasn’t… yet). We don’t need to force this stuff.
Taylor’s Version
A great way for non-Swifties to participate in the Red (Taylor’s Version) release without revealing how much they do or don’t like Taylor Swift. It was not deep and it was not that clever. We didn’t do it too much, just enough to be a part of the conversation. It is the cardinal rule of Twitter that makes it a nice place worth spending our time: I like it when we all talk about the same thing.
Hell Naw, Not My Son
I love it when gay people are homophobic.
TikTok
Back In The Day, Me and You Baby
A rare sound where 1) the source material is good, 2) the sound itself is funny and 3) all of the videos are funny. Even the variation where people just talk about the toys they used to play with as kids and don’t do the second half are funny. It’s great. Every part of it is easy jokes that never go too far. I also learned something from it’s popularity, which is always nice. The guy singing is the guy from the meme where he’s pointing to his head and both of these memes are from a BBC web series called #HoodDocumentary that was pretty funny from what I watched of it. We learn something new every day!
I have a question: Why is Lola the most popular character from Big Mouth on TikTok? What is it about her that makes people, mostly girls, from all walks of life really laugh both at her and with her? Why out of all the funny female characters on that show is Lola the one that makes everyone go… that’s me. My theory is that it’s because she’s crazy and gross. No matter what kind of person you are, you are more than capable of being both crazy and gross. That’s easier to exploit for comedy than being smart or shy or self effacing about how pretty you are. Also as we learned from Publizity, Nick Kroll’s gross girl voice is funny to literally everyone.
It’s nice to see people be excited about something, even if its the wrong thing. There’s so little actual joy on the internet that any time real excitement can even be manufactured, I have to endorse it. Also, I know history will not be kind to me, but I love Elf. I think it’s still good and when I am home for Christmas and it is on cable 24/7, I will watch it. I think it’s a perfect movie and every scene, with or without context is good and funny.
Does everyone remember on Tumblr when they added this feature called the Madden Giferator and everyone used it to talk about like labor issues in the video game industry or something and then they banned the word capitalism but not the word communism? I do and it was really funny. History is of course repeating itself and people are taking two approaches to it. One, try to get Rocket Raccoon to say various slurs or Two, be mad that Disney won’t let the voices say Gay and Lesbian. If you are the kind of idiot who is legitimately mad that Disney won’t let the characters say gay, you absolutely will not last long on the Internet. People have already found workarounds and its more fun when they make it difficult. It helps to have a sense of humor about these things and use your brain to outsmart the corporations, it's not that hard.
This song? This trend right here? It makes me CRAZY. This is worse than the dumb conversations trend because this one means these people are in a partnership where they make dumb TikToks together. They love each other enough to make videos where they look stupid. Oh, To be in a loving relationship where the other person has no problem saying “Bitch I’m two phones baby keem.” I need it to stop. I love it but I need it to stop.
Spongebob is a generational divid both between and among generations. There’s spongebob kids and there’s everyone else. I am of course a spongebob kid. That clouds my judgement here as I think even the mere mention of him can be funny. This video and sound is weird and off putting but for spongebob kids that was always the point. What Spongebob inspires in Spongebob kids today is intrinsic to the way our brains were fried in those early years. We love him and he set the tone for the future more clearly than any other thing from our childhoods. He was weird then in the way we needed him to be so we could be weird now.
yassify bot had an out of character tweet being like ya ok im not a bot so then im like... ur just some twink with an email job that has 16 hours a day free to run photos of celebrities through a face capture algorithm where is the comedy??? it did make me laugh when they yassified the baby from twilight tho
Yassify bot has exhausted me. It’s not even that bad, but, for some reason, probably because it is going so damn fast, it’s made me consider taking a social media break more than anything else before. It physically drains me to see it on my timeline.