Fat Bear Week
Everyone shut the fuck up. Everyone shut the FUCK up. It’s fat bear week. Every year Katmai National Park in Alaska lets us vote on our favorite fat bears as they gear up for winter. These bears are getting fat. Voting starts today and I’m so fucking excited. It seems like every year, we almost forget about Fat Bear week until we don’t. I’m not letting any of you forget it’s Fat Bear Week. It’s my newsletter and I decided what we talk about. I’m talking about Fat Bear Week. It’s a meme if I want to be.
Try Guys Affair
The internet’s favorite nicecore guys, who built an audience being as stupid and unthreatening as possible, were disgraced this week when one of them cheated on his wife, with an employee. The problem with building your brand on youth group adjacent attitudes and behaviors is that you’re not allowed to do anything wrong. Cheating on your wife is the crime here, not the crime of abusing your power as a founder. The fans don’t care about violation of laws, they care about morality. It has been explained to them over and over again the legal liability of this crime and they still put their thinking caps on and try to accuse him of mortal sin while crafting ideas on how to punish him in the court of public opinion. Their favorite nice guy celebrities must pass their tests of values, which anyone who’s ever been on camera in the city of Los Angeles can’t pass. At the very least, they’re evil-hearted with an insatiable desire for power and money, despite whatever soyfaces they make in their marketing. The memes come from the upper crust of self avowed morally dubious
Queer Cinema/ Billy Eichner
The number one way to get people to hate you is to market to them directly. A lesson we all have to learn over and over again. Any explicit deliberate marketing that promotes gay people is now for straight people that want to seem with it. The movie Bros, (which is good by the way) fell into this trap despite any forewarning that gay people hate being marketed to directly. Gay people instead like deciding what is for them. The quote tweets of this video tell a story of queer cinema. We learn what gay people actually like, which is other gay people fighting, and porn.
TikTok
Taste The Biscuit
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Everyone wants to be the weirdest person on Tiktok. No one wants to engage with interesting content. So there’s a woman who sings a silly song and a silly filter to go with it, but does anyone have anything interesting to say about it? Or is it all “Look how crazy I am?” This always happens whenever something interesting happens. People who were late to Miami Boys Choir invented their own trend. This does not even hold a candle to Miami Boys Choir. Not even close. Where’s the artistry? Where’s the showmanship? Where are the 15 orthodox middle schoolers?
You don’t want to hear about 9/11?
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Mariah Carey is one of our great divas and every time she is brought up she is living up to her Diva status. There’s nothing like guilting a crowd into listening to your spiel about 9/11. I’m sure she has plenty to say, especially when it comes to her own personal tragedy that day, the release of the Glitter soundtrack. Ms Mariah certainly has a lot to say about that day and I can’t say the same for the rest of you. I wish this sound had stayed specific. I wish we had a meme just for everyone being weird about 9/11, because so many people are, in so many different ways. We don’t need another trauma-dumping meme, we need a meme about inappropriate times people have brought up 9/11.
I Cannot Keep Having This Conversation
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Finally, someone has made a meme about the conversations we are forced to have over and over again. I like reading about them, most of the time. I hate having conversations about my film degree and my newsletter with people because they are often the same conversation over and over again, and I have yet to come up with a stock response instead of white-knuckling through how annoyed I am. We needed this sound. We all need this meme to give us a moment of respite from these awful conversations.
Don’t Wear That Outfit Again
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Can everyone stop being weird about Patrick Bateman? I’m bored. I’m so bored of the recent cultural turn of “American Psycho is for girls”. We’ve done it, ladies, we’ve exhausted every possible surface-level conversation. It’s time for a new cultural movement “American Psycho is played out.” because it is! We need to watch a new movie.
you not using my tweet of the lads with chairs video even thought i tweeted it a day earlier.... hmm
Lovely meme review.
There is a good game version of the chair lads video called Hard Lads: https://radiatoryang.itch.io/hardlads